How You Get Jury Duty

Thursday, August 20th, 2009

I’ve got jury duty today. Spare me the tired ways of weaseling out of it1, as well as the lecture on civic duty. I’ve served on a jury before, and it’s a tedious process that’s filled with bureaucracy. At best, it’s a necessary evil.

While I’m not going to cheat my way out of jury duty, I’d love to avoid the whole thing in the future. So how do they find you? Some people think it’s all about voting, but that’s just one way you can be discovered. After a discussion with my friend JT, I worked out some of the other ways they get you for jury duty.

  • Checking out items from the library? You’re getting more than a free book; you’re getting jury duty.

  • When you lick an envelope, then mail it, you’re definitely getting jury duty2.

  • Whenever you’re running a yellow light, and it goes red, and you think “Shit, I really should have stopped, instead of speeding up”, you totally get jury duty.

  • Meter feeding is illegal. It’s also a surefire way to get jury duty.

  • Every time you Take A Penny, you get jury duty. And if you Leave A Penny? Jury duty again!

Do you know of more ways they get you for jury duty? Let me know via email or Twitter (hey, that’s not a bad meme: #howyougetjuryduty).

Update (August 21st, 2009): See the follow-up post, More on How You Get Jury Duty.


Footnotes:

  1. But hey, if anyone knows of a good felony I could commit and be assured I won’t get jail time, let me know. If it involves topless women in some way, so much the better. ↩︎

  2. This is also how they get your DNA. Oh yes, they’ve got that too. ↩︎


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