A Man for All Seasons

Monday, March 28th, 2011

It’s been almost two years since this blog last discussed Nicholas Cage. After a recent overview of his career matrix, I realized that Mr. Cage has played more than his share of “men” on the silver screen. For your edification, I’ve produced a compendium on the subject.

A List of the Various Types of “Man” Nicholas Cage Has Been:

Wicker
The Wicker Man Artwork

Film: The Wicker Man [Link]
Year: 2006
Quote: “OH, NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY’RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAHHHHH! AAAAAGGHHH!”
Note: The “alternate ending” for this movie deletes a scene to end the film earlier, which is incredibly confusing when trying to determine what’s different. It also increases the terribleness quotient by cramming the same amount of awful into a shorter film.


Weather
The Weather Man Artwork

Film: The Weather Man [Link]
Year: 2005
Quote: “I think they make car tires out of camel toes.”


Matchstick
A Matchstick Man Artwork

Film: Matchstick Men [Link]
Year: 2003


Family
The Family Man Artwork

Film: The Family Man [Link]
Year: 2000
Note: I haven’t seen it, but it certainly looks hilarious.


In Red Sports Car (Uncredited)
Never On Tuesday Artwork

Film: Never On Tuesday [Link]
Year: 1988
Quote: None, as its IMDB page has no quotes section.
Note: If the lack of a quotes section alone isn’t enough to tell you this film is a stinker, the image seen above is the largest artwork I could find. Also, it’s only available on VHS.



So there it is, a complete list of the various types of “man” Nicholas Cage has portrayed in film. All this Nicholas Cage and you still want more? Enjoy this ten-second clip from The Wicker Man1.


Footnotes:

  1. And of course, archived here.


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