Barvd: October 14th, 2011 Edition

Friday, October 14th, 2011

Seasons change, but the barving remains. It’s time for more from your favorite tweet tracker, Barvd (What’s Barvd?). Let’s get right to it.

Somebody just spammed by blog post remembering my dead father with artificial condolences linking to low-back pain bullshit. So low.
@danielpunkass

I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised by SEO-induced vomit. And yet here I am, vomit streaming down my legs, shocked at the depths to which people will sink.

I ate so much candy corn yesterday, I just pooped a candle.
@badbanana

It’s not the candle poop that’s so nauseating, it’s the candy corn. The vile, vile candy corn.

@PBones I've always said movie theater seats should come with built-in catheters.
@georgedick

Your humble author actually found this tweet nominated for Barvd, but the reply seen above was definitely worse. As if movie theaters aren’t disgusting enough?

Nancy Reagan: still hot.
@gruber

She’s 90, and that’s disturbing. Not as disturbing as our finale though.

An intriguing recipe I saw used "blowfish milt". Hm, what's "milt", I wondered. And then I found out. And then I was no longer intrigued.
@mrgan

Look, I’m just going to tell you. It’s fish semen, you guys. Fish semen.

Submit Your Own
I need to go sit down for awhile and contemplate the fact that someone decided fish semen was edible. If you’ve spotted a terrible tweet, submit a link.


If you enjoyed this post, get updates via Twitter, Facebook, or RSS.