Now You See Me: The Abridged Script 

Thursday, May 15th, 2014

“Now You See Me” was a movie about magicians who rob banks. Not a bad premise, right? And yet, it turned out to be one of the worst written movies I’ve ever seen. Despite the movie being from last year, I’ve nevertheless engaged in multiple recent debates about it. Those debates have centered not on whether or not it was a bad movie, but on precisely how bad it was.

Thus, it’s time to link to this hilarious abridged script for the film. If you’ve seen the film, you’ll appreciate the deconstruction provided. If you haven’t, save yourself two hours and just read the abridged version.

WOODY HARRELSON
(interrupting)
Okay look, we COULD end every scene with “or Woody used his apparently limitless hypnotic powers to make everyone remotely involved do/think/remember whatever we want”. If we go down that road, though, you’ll eventually realize I could have carried out the entire plan by myself in my basement with no pants during commercial breaks of a Duck Dynasty marathon. So let’s not?

And yes, of course Hollywood has a sequel in the works.


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