The Tomatan Has Arrived and Nothing Will Ever Be the Same

Monday, February 23rd, 2015

As everyone knows, tomatoes are packed with nutrients. Marathon runners have long held that tomatoes would be the perfect snack to power you through 26.2 grueling miles, if only there were some way to carry them. But do you really want to run with tomatoes in your hands? Well, maybe, but two tomatoes is certainly not enough. How about carrying a whole bag of them? That would be uncomfortable and lead to bruising!

Because of these hurdles, we runners have been stuck with second-tier snacks, like Gatorade, PowerBars, or —*shudder*— Gü. Until now! Until…Tomatan.

The Tomatan is a backpack that can be loaded with six midsize tomatoes — enough, say the makers, to power runners through this weekend’s Tokyo Marathon.

Yes! Finally! Why, with six mid-sized tomatoes, even a smoking senior citizen could blast through a race. Thank you, vegetable juice company Kagome, who most assuredly did not concoct this as a comedic method of getting publicity! Thank you, Japan. Truly, you have done a great service for the world. Thanks to your efforts, runners can strap on a 17 pound tomato-headed humanoid backpack and have easy, hands-free access to the essential tomato nutrients we need.

And by golly, we’ll look good doing it, too:

The Tomatan in action
Hey, it works on donkeys in cartoons.

The only question I have is where do I order one for my next race?


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