Lindsey Graham Plans His Coups Well in Advance 

Thursday, March 12th, 2015

If you elect Lindsey Graham president in 2016, we won’t have our first female president, but we might have our first presidential self-coup.

Previously in officials saying ridiculous things: Officials Say

Icebergs on the Sand 

Wednesday, March 11th, 2015

Out in the cape of Massachusetts, a photographer named Dapixara has captured some ridiculous images of massive ice chunks recently tossed ashore.

Massive Ice Ashore in Cape Cod

Previously in the bizarre winter weather of Cape Cod: Slurpee Waves

I Hope They Offer Divorce Insurance 

Tuesday, March 10th, 2015

Perhaps you’ve seen the State Farm’s sickly-sweet ad entitled “Never”.1 In it, a man vows to never do several things, such as get married or have kids, then ultimately caves on each promise. Not to worry, as State Farm is there to insure him along the way.

Over at BoingBoing, Heather Johanssen raises a great point. Given that man’s track record, his poor family is about to be abandoned.


Footnotes:

  1. Archived here.

Lowered Expectations

Monday, March 9th, 2015

On Wednesday, March 4th, a package was sent to me via USPS Priority Mail. It had an expected delivery date of March 6th. I’m writing this a little after midnight, on Monday, March 9th, 2015, and the always-useful USPS tracking information for that package shows:

Expected Delivery Day:	Friday, March 6, 2015

I gotta say, personally, I am not expecting it to be delivered on the 6th.

Hindsight 

Friday, March 6th, 2015

If you have even a dollar to your name, hindsight investing could make you unfathomably rich. In short, it allows the purchase of an investment at an older price, even after the market has moved. If a fund increases in value, just buy it at the old lower price to realize an instant gain. This is clearly unsustainable, and yet in the recent past, multiple companies offered this sort of thing to rich clients. Soon, it might destroy them.

My Kind of Wine Recommendations 

Thursday, March 5th, 2015

I am not a wine connoisseur, but Jeff Wysaski has made some quality recommendations which I enjoyed. The recommendations themselves, that is, not the wines.

Guaranteed to get you 'suburban mom drunk'

Lenticular Cloud at Sunset 

Wednesday, March 4th, 2015

Each day, NASA’s Astronomy Picture of the Day (APOD) offers “a different image or photograph of our fascinating universe is featured, along with a brief explanation written by a professional astronomer”. While I often skip over these in my daily reading of the entire Internet from beginning to end, Monday’s post was bizarre enough to catch my eye.

Lenticular Cloud, Moon, Mars, Venus
[Photo credit: Nuno Serrão]

Though it ruined the photographer’s intended shot, this cloud gave him an image that looks unreal. Be sure to visit the site to see the full-sized image.

I’m Sorry Too, I Guess

Tuesday, March 3rd, 2015

For months upon months, I’ve run into an issue with Netflix’s website. Whenever I add an item to my queue, I receive this error:

Netflix error reading 'We're sorry an error occurred while processing your request.'

Obviously, this is not ideal. But I’m not mad at the fact that a very common action is resulting in an error. Despite the alert, the item I’m attempting to add does in fact get appended to my queue. Yet I’m not even upset that this error seems to be meaningless.

But please, in the name of all that is holy, Netflix, could you at least add a damned comma?!

Netflix error with a comma, reading 'We're sorry, an error occurred while processing your request.'
Ahhhh, vastly less infuriating.

The Chairman’s Flight 

Monday, March 2nd, 2015

For a year and a half long period, United sent a 50-seat jet from Newark to Columbia, South Carolina on Thursday nights, and flew one back on Monday mornings. It seems exceedingly likely that this route existed solely so that former Port Authority chairman David Samson could easily spend his weekends down in the Palmetto State. This sort of graft is hardly surprising when it comes to Samson, who was also deeply mired in Chris Christie’s Fort Lee lane closure scandal.

Massages Are Not for Me

Friday, February 27th, 2015

A Brief List of Alternate Names for a “Happy Ending” I Came Up With During My One and Likely Only Professional Massage, During Which I Expended a Great Deal of Energy Suppressing the Urge to Facetiously Request One of These While Pretending to Be Unsure of the Actual Term

  • Closing Wink

  • Delighted Denouement

  • Enjoyable Exit

  • Final Smile

  • Joyous Conclusion

In the end I allowed only muffled giggling to escape. This was and remained a massage only.

Massage Only of Newburyport
Someone went a little overboard with the filtering here.
[Photo courtesy: P. Kafasis]