Donald Trump is a buffoon, one who unfortunately has been given far too much attention. After today, I don’t intend to waste further space on him, because he’s simply not worthy of thought. However, Trump’s recent comments on John McCain not being a war hero are simply too despicable to be ignored. You may not care for McCain’s politics, or his choice of a running mate, but denying his heroism as a member of our armed services is simply out of touch with reality. Here’s a blow-by-blow account of what Donald Trump was doing while John McCain suffered in Vietnam.
Friday, July 17th, 2015
A hot dog (which is so obviously not a sandwich that no debate is even required) really doesn’t belong anywhere near a pizza. Way back in the late ’90s, shortly after the rise of the cheese stuffed crust pizza, I took some sort of online survey for Pizza Hut. They asked how I would feel about a ring of hot dog meat in the crust around a pizza. Then, as now, I was disgusted. Hot dog pizza? Barvd 🙊.
Despite my vociferous objections almost two decades ago, Pizza Hut has now opted to give it a go, albeit with some modifications. While that long-ago survey proposed a circular hot dog ring tucked inside the crust the same way cheese can be, this “limited-supply” Hot Dog Bites pizza is somewhat similar to the Cheeseburger Crown Crust pizza of 2012. The new offering features a circle of pigs in a blanket surrounding the pie. It’s a horrible idea, one which the Washington Post will tell you is best avoided. Pizza Hut has a brief commercial to pitch their vile creation:1
Does that look like something you’d want to eat?
“Hot dog! Pizza! Hot dog! Pizza! Hot dog! Pizza!” the commercial bellows, before combining the two foods into one abomination. The ad moves from being loud and uninspired, to truly and unintentionally hilarious. Referring to hot dogs and pizza, the commercial states that it’s:
Two classics, together at last.
When attempting to force a grotesque new food product down the gullets of the public, it is perhaps best not to call to mind this classic joke from The Simpsons2:
Then again, it does seem likely that Homer Simpson would approve of this creation as well.
Previously in terrible ideas from Pizza Hut: Make ‘Em An Offer They Can Refuse
Wednesday, July 15th, 2015
Today is “Prime Day” over at Amazon. If you’re an Amazon Prime subscriber, you can get access to all manner of one-day only deals. If you don’t currently have Prime, you can try it out for free for 30 days to get access to the deals.
In an attempt to compete, Wal-Mart posted on their blog to tout their own low prices. This section really stands out:
We’ve heard some retailers are charging $100 to get access to a sale. But the idea of asking customers to pay extra in order to save money just doesn’t add up for us.
It’s funny. I could swear Wal-Mart ran an entire chain of stores which charges an annual fee to get access to save money. Oh that’s right, they do. It’s called Sam’s Club. But the Washington Post notes even more obvious hypocrisy:
Even as Wal-Mart declares that its deals come without an “admission fee,” the company is piloting a Prime-like program known as Wal-Mart Shipping Pass, which promises unlimited three-day shipping with the purchase of a $50 annual membership. For now, about 1 million best-selling items would be available under Shipping Pass, significantly less than the 20 million available for purchase with Amazon Prime.
Worth noting, the Washington Post article explicitly states “Amazon’s chief executive, Jeffrey P. Bezos, owns The Washington Post”. Whether that led to this particular piece of reportage, I can’t say, but the facts are the facts nonetheless.
I should probably also note that the first paragraph of this post contains referral links to Amazon. I can state that the possibility of earning literally ones of dollars did not convince me to write about this.
One Foot Tsunami Thinks It’s Funny That the Washington Post Thinks It’s Funny That Boston.com Thinks It’s Funny the NY Times Just Noticed Our Huge Snow Pile Is Still There
Monday, July 13th, 2015
Let’s begin with a rough sequence of events:
The winter of 2015 was the snowiest on record for Boston, with a total of 110.6 inches of snow falling.
As snow pounded the city, crews worked to find places to put it all. They piled it into so-called “snow farms”, creating massive, multi-story high mounds.
Eventually, winter mercifully let us up off the mat, and went away for a few months.
The aforementioned snow piles, however, did not go away. In late May, the science of their persistence was explored.
Throughout June, wagers were placed on when the piles would finally melt. The mayor even started a social media contest.
On July 6th, the New York Times published a piece on the remnants of the snow pile in Boston.
On July 7th, Boston.com’s Eric Levenson ribbed the Times for being late to the party.
Later that same day, the Washington Post took note of Boston.com’s post, joining in the mockery.
Which brings us to today, when I’m adding my own link to this goofy chain. It may be the final link, however, as it appears the last remaining pile has finally given up the ghost. On the evening of July 11th, I went hunting for the remnants of our last snow pile, on Tide Street in the Seaport area of Boston. Here’s what I found:
Not exactly a mound
Frankly, I was unsure if I was at the same location as the snow pile Katharine Q. Seelye had described thusly:
The well-insulated mound is actually quite chilly. Standing next to it is like standing next to a freezer with the door open. The gelid interior keeps any melting to a trickle.
Obviously, no such mound can be seen in my photo. It hardly seemed possible that a 12 foot mound could have disappeared so quickly. Yet it’s clear this is in fact the same location. First, there’s this side-by-side comparison, with the New York Times photo on the left and my own on the right:
Early July (?) on the left, July 11th on the right
Note the assorted telephone poles and trees, which show these shots were taken in the same place, and from the same angle. Second, mixed in with assorted hats, scarves, and coffee cups, one distinctive piece of trash was clearly visible:
Yes folks, that right there is a portion of Christmas tree. There can be no doubt that this accumulation of garbage stowed away with the snow back in February and March. Now, it’s all that remains. It seems finally time to declare the Boston’s last remaining snow pile dead. So long, winter of 2015. You won’t be missed.
Friday, July 10th, 2015
Speaking of brain-dead computer algorithms, I stumbled on this gem while reading the lyrics to the Modern Lover’s song “Roadrunner”:
Bravo, automatic censoring formula. Bravo.
Wednesday, July 8th, 2015
Thanks in part to American Airlines’ exceedingly old fleet, I recently had a rather arduous journey down to Florida. At least the airline’s cocktail napkins provide a link to information on their new planes which are surely coming any day now. Anyhow, this trip produced a wondrous collection of automated crap in my inbox. Allow me to present a new piece of art, just added to this museum’s collection:
“Impact” by Paul Kafasis, 2015. Mixed media.
Future American trips will now be measured by the raw number of emails they cause the airline’s mindless algorithm to spit out. For instance, my flight home was only somewhat delayed, resulting in “just” a three-email delay.
A hat-tip is required to the slightly-imitable Neven Mrgan, whose wonderful collection far surpasses this museum’s.