Barvd: December 25th, 2012 Edition

Ho Ho Ho—excuse me, little stutter there! How the time does fly, as it’s been more than five months since the last edition of Barvd. This jumbo-sized holiday edition of Barvd features a post from the new Twitter alternative, and a couple sickening shots from photo-sharing social network Instagram. It’s not just tweets that have the power to make us retch. Now let’s jingle onward:

I can't even.

Eggnog and Seltzer, together at last?

Hard to tell the difference between a plate of half-finished nachos and the result of liposuction gone wrong. They even taste kinda similar.

The first line is gross enough, but it’s the second line which puts it over the top. The only way those nachos could be less appealing is with the following cheese:

Breastmilk cheese? #VeganOrNot

Ah, yes, the eternal, disgusting question.

In the tradition of PenIsland, ExpertsExchange, and PowerGenItalia, another very unfortunate URL.

Wait for it. Waaaait for it:

Please, don't Rim a dog.

Oh god, don’t do that.

“Please take that off. You look like Pete Rose.” Since when is your wife looking like Pete Rose not sexy?

I know Amy Jane, and I actually believe she could pull off “Sexy Pete Rose”.

Writing holiday cards in the kitchen, I’m struck by the very specific fear that one of those stray pubes that somehow (despite my best efforts) ends up on the bathroom floor will drift down the hallway and into an envelope, then be mailed to a loved one.

“Merry Christmas!”, from One Foot Tsunami.

Horrifying Clown

And a truly horrifying New Year!

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