💧 A Voice for Boston Radio

[Boogie-Woogie-Woogie!]
While listening to the radio broadcast of a recent Red Sox game, I heard a tremendous advertisement. Though I’ve provided a transcript as a footnote1, I urge you to take the 60 seconds needed to listen to the following recording:

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I love so much about this, including, but not limited to:

Shouting the name “Kuhlman!” to kick it off
This is how I enter rooms from now on, just kicking open the door and yelling “Paul!”.

Ganking “It’s electric!” from the “Electric Slide” song
That song is apparently actually named “Electric Boogie”, as I most certainly did not know.

That voice
This announcer is most definitely not going for a “neutral” accent. He’s from Boston, kehd, and he’s not gonna letchu forget it.

Immediately after hearing this ad, I went digging for it online, and I was delighted to find it on Donnie White’s voices.com page. Donnie’s bio notes “I have a Boston accent…I am very energetic.” Yes. Accurate.

Colonel Klink as a cultural touchstone
Upon hearing this, I was probably 95% sure this was a character on a rather ancient sitcom. I was maybe 75% sure that show was “Hogan’s Heroes”. And I was about 50% sure that “Hogan’s Heroes” was about American soldiers in World War II POW camp. I thus was half-certain that Colonel Klink was a Nazi.

A bit of research proved all of that was correct, while also revealing that the show went off the air more than half a century ago.2 Surely there’s a German reference that’s both more au courant and less problematic. “It’s German – like bratwurst!”?

The funeral home
As I listened live, I couldn’t believe that the ad didn’t change course after the words “funeral home”. Instead they doubled down on the joke, with a gag that I saw coming, yet still burst out laughing as it did. Bravo.

I don’t know anything about Kuhlman’s service, but their ad is fantastic. I sincerely hope they don’t cease and desist this loving fan page for their commercial.

Meanwhile, if you want more of the outstanding work of Donnie White, the aforelinked Voices.com page has you covered. It’ll give you a great idea(r) of his range.

Footnotes:

This transcript was prepared in part with help from my own company’s Audio Hijack:

Kuhlman! It’s electric! Your house was wired in World War I. Ya need to change it, call Kuhlman Electric. You have to charge your new electric vehicle 10 hours to go two miles. Call Kuhlman. Your panel doesn’t have enough amps to light two lamps. Call Kuhlman Electric.

Everybody knows Kuhlman Electric, but nobody knows how to spell it. It’s not “Coleman”, it’s “Kuhlman”. I know, same thing, right? That’s the problem! But our Kuhlman is German, like Colonel Klink. So it starts with a “K”. Here, let me spell it for you. K-U-H-L-M-A-N.

I know, not easy. People search “Kuhlman Electric” and end up with a coleslaw recipe. Worst (sic) yet, there’s a Coleman funeral home. Folks lose power, they call the funeral home and say “Hey, my entire house is dead. Can you give me a quote?” It’s embarrassing. Just saying, there’s a big difference between a mortician and an electrician.

So next time you have a power problem or project, type K-U-H-L-M-A-N and click on that little call thing and Kuhlman Electric will be at your place in the flick of a switch. And if the switch is broken, they’ll be there quicker.

When you need an electrician, call Kuhlman. It’s electric.

But really, give it a listen! ↩︎

It also made me realize my knowledge of Colonel Klink comes in part from the Simpsons episode “The Last Temptation of Homer”, wherein original Colonel Klink actor Werner Klemperer played the role one last time.3 Even that episode first aired way back in 1993! ↩︎

The relevant video is archived here. ↩︎