Previous “This Week in Trump” posts

Also Worth Noting, He’s Currently Hurting Nearly Everyone

Friday, January 11th, 2019

Earlier this week, I read a New York Times piece on the small Florida town of Marianna, and how it was being affected by the on-going federal government shutdown. The story ended with this quote.

“I voted for him, and he’s the one who’s doing this,” she said of Mr. Trump. “I thought he was going to do good things. He’s not hurting the people he needs to be hurting.”

The utter awfulness of that line has been stuck in my head ever since. The initial reaction to this should be obvious: The president of the United States doesn’t need to be hurting anyone. That’s not the job, and if you think it is, something is deeply, sickeningly wrong with you.

There’s a lot to unpack in that line. Perhaps the most striking aspect of it is the solidification that for some people, cruelty is the point of a Trump presidency. For some percentage of his supporters, making America great again expressly means inflicting pain on others, not as a byproduct but as a goal. That’s extremely disheartening.

I hope we can be better than this. I wish I knew how to get there.

But hey, I ought to at least try to provide a dark laugh about this whole thing, right? So, here’s a tweet from over three years ago that applies perfectly to this story:


Via Adrian Bott

Haha! Haha…ha…*sob*.

Rocketing Himself to the Absolute Top Spot on the “Naughty” List 

Tuesday, December 25th, 2018

For Christmas, I got you a reminder that Donald Trump is terrible at seemingly everything:

In a Christmas Eve call, Trump asked a 7-year-old named Coleman whether the child still believes in Santa Claus.

“Are you still a believer in Santa? Because at 7, it’s marginal, right?” Trump asked Coleman.

I’m sure this child has done extensive polling, and also understands the word “marginal”, you complete and utter waste of atoms.

Grog Build Wall. Build Wall Tall! 

Thursday, December 13th, 2018

At this moment, the following is real content on the Department of Homeland Security’s website:

It’s a “news” release entitled “Walls Work”, and frankly, it’s just weird. Did DHS get hacked? Did they recently hire a caveman copy editor? Is this the work of a disgruntled employee? Anything seems possible, including the idea that this is the average level of education in America now.

The Crushing Dumbness of Donald Trump 

Wednesday, October 24th, 2018

Elliot Hannon has nailed it. Donald Trump is the idiot star of a show that we all have to watch.

An Idiotic Idea Doesn’t Deserve Branding This Good 

Monday, July 30th, 2018

When Bloomberg Businessweek asked eight leading designers to brand President Trump’s preposterous “Space Force”, they can’t possibly have imagined getting anything this deliciously good:


If Milton Glaser doesn’t start selling t-shirts, he’s really leaving money on the table.

While Glaser’s logo is the hands-down best, the efforts from David Reinfurt and Other Means are also exceptional, and all eight logos are great in their own way. Be sure to read each designer’s brief explanation of their logo as well.

45 Is Less Than 44 (or 43, or 42, or…)

Wednesday, July 18th, 2018

After Trump’s deeply disturbing press conference in Helsinki on Monday, this has been kicking around my head.

You CAN spell Tre45on with 45.

And yes, yes, I know.

Lying Is Clearly Not a No-Go Zone for Pete Hoekstra 

Friday, December 22nd, 2017

In 2015, then-Congressman Pete Hoekstra spouted some anti-Muslim bullshit about the Netherlands. This was a lie. In 2017, now ambassador-to-the-Netherlands (Yeah…) Pete Hoekstra is asked about his statement from 2015. He denied making the statement, and referred to it as “fake news”. That was a lie about a lie. After being show the clip of his own 2015 statement, Hoekstra was asked why he had called it fake news. He denied using the term “fake news”, which he had very clearly done seemingly moments before. That’s a lie about a lie about a lie.

Donald Trump really is hiring the best people, if by that we mean the people who are doing the best job showing how goddamned inept this entire administration is.

A Near-Perfect Likeness 

Monday, December 18th, 2017

In yet another depressing reminder of who the leader of America’s executive branch is, Donald Trump is now included in Disney’s Hall of Presidents. Those who despise the man can take some small solace in the fact that his animatronic likeness looks like this:


[Photo credit: @wdwmagic]

To put it bluntly, that robot looks like shit. Aside from the fact that it’s not the right shade of orange, it’s also completely true to life.

Of Course, He’s Blind to Reality Anyway 

Tuesday, August 22nd, 2017

This Boston Globe piece seems to be downplaying the story of Donald Trump looking directly at yesterday’s solar eclipse. The photos make it clear that while he may not have stared at it for minutes on end, Trump repeatedly looked up at the sun without protective glasses. Even if “a second here or there” didn’t damage his retinas, it’s certainly a terrible example for the nation, and a ridiculously poor visual to boot. One thing is even more blindingly obvious than the sun, and that’s the fact that Donald Trump is never not a goddamned moron.

Donald Trump staring directly at a solar eclipse
Use the glasses, you miserable fucking toenail!

This Week in Trump: Art Imitates Life

Friday, August 4th, 2017

It’s Friday, which sometimes means another “This Week in Trump” post, wherein I detail the depressing, embarrassing, shameful things Donald Trump has done while serving as President of the United States. This week was another horrible showing for dignity and decency, but between the “local milk people”, fictional phone calls, and so much more, I just don’t have it in me to review it. Instead, this week’s edition of TWIT is going to go a slightly different route.

I have a Google Alert for the phrase “Up for Auction”, and it frequently provides me with both a good chuckle, as well as material for this very site. For example, there was this T-Rex skeleton that I just missed out on, and even better, this profane autographed baseball. This week, Google offered this headline up to me:

Trump Drawing of Skyline Goes Up for Auction, Experts Offer Mixed Reviews

Given the “mixed reviews”, I found myself wondering if Donald Trump might have a heretofore unknown talent for sketching. Sure, it wouldn’t be amazing, but it could well be better than average. Maybe this awful man has at least one skill? Well, here’s a look at the sketch:

Terrible Trump Sketch

So no, of course he doesn’t have a hidden talent. Like the whiny temper tantrums our commander-in-chief throws on Twitter on a regular basis, his sketch looks like it was done by an eight-year-old child. It’s utter crap, following the lead of nearly every single other goddamned thing Donald Trump has done in this life. Frankly, I’m disappointed in myself for thinking there was any chance of it being otherwise. As Maya Angelou said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time”.