Previous “This Week in Trump” posts

This Week in Trump: Art Imitates Life

Friday, August 4th, 2017

It’s Friday, which sometimes means another “This Week in Trump” post, wherein I detail the depressing, embarrassing, shameful things Donald Trump has done while serving as President of the United States. This week was another horrible showing for dignity and decency, but between the “local milk people”, fictional phone calls, and so much more, I just don’t have it in me to review it. Instead, this week’s edition of TWIT is going to go a slightly different route.

I have a Google Alert for the phrase “Up for Auction”, and it frequently provides me with both a good chuckle, as well as material for this very site. For example, there was this T-Rex skeleton that I just missed out on, and even better, this profane autographed baseball. This week, Google offered this headline up to me:

Trump Drawing of Skyline Goes Up for Auction, Experts Offer Mixed Reviews

Given the “mixed reviews”, I found myself wondering if Donald Trump might have a heretofore unknown talent for sketching. Sure, it wouldn’t be amazing, but it could well be better than average. Maybe this awful man has at least one skill? Well, here’s a look at the sketch:

Terrible Trump Sketch

So no, of course he doesn’t have a hidden talent. Like the whiny temper tantrums our commander-in-chief throws on Twitter on a regular basis, his sketch looks like it was done by an eight-year-old child. It’s utter crap, following the lead of nearly every single other goddamned thing Donald Trump has done in this life. Frankly, I’m disappointed in myself for thinking there was any chance of it being otherwise. As Maya Angelou said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time”.

This Week in Trump: July 21st, 2017 Edition

Friday, July 21st, 2017

A good week is any week when I don’t feel compelled to write a new edition of “This Week in Trump”. Obviously, this was not a good week.

July 13th: Following discussions of the “transparency” Donald Trump Jr. offered by releasing his emails regarding his now infamous meeting with a Russian national, President Trump’s brain appeared to get stuck on the word. As a result, he stated that his boondoggle border wall should be transparent. Why? So that no one takes a lethal 60 pound bag of drugs upside their head, of course.

As horrible as it sounds, when they throw the large sacks of drugs over, and if you have people on the other side of the wall, you don’t see them—they hit you in the head with 60 pounds of stuff? It’s over,” Trump said. “As crazy as that sounds, you need transparency through that wall.”

Let’s move straight past our incredulity, and just go with this. Let’s enter the befuddled brain of the president, and accept the absurd premise that drug dealers are just blindly lobbing massive sacks of drugs into America. Even if we believe that, who exactly does Trump think is walking near the wall on the American side? The average citizen is not going out for a constitutional along the border. Logically, the folks involved would be other criminals, and if these drug-catchers get brained by a big bag of dope, why should we care? GAH! (Link)

July 13th: While in France, Trump told the French first lady that she’s “in such good shape”, before noting to President Macron “she’s in such good physical shape. Beautiful.” Make no mistake about it, this is not how any civilized person behaves, and it is not a compliment. This is objectifying a woman, and it is disgusting. (Link)

July 14th: As a result of his repulsive comments in France, Donald Trump was the target of a perfect sub-tweet by Reebok, who provide a useful guide for when you should say “you’re in such good shape…beautiful”. Here’s a hint: Almost never! (Link)

July 16th: The transcript of a conversation between British Prime Minister Theresa May and Trump revealed that his tragically frail ego won’t allow him to visit the UK until he can be assured of “a better reception”. (Link)

July 19th: As part of a wide-ranging and very strange interview with the New York Times, Donald Trump appeared to show a complete and utter lack of comprehension as to what health insurance is, and how it works. In fact, he seemed to conflate it with life insurance, which is actually tremendously disturbing given his focus on repealing the Affordable Care Act. Honestly, this is upsetting in a much deeper way than the usual embarrassing news this feature covers, and I’m done for the week. (Link)

After all that, the best I can offer you is that today is a Friday.

This Week in Trump: June 30th, 2017 Edition

Friday, June 30th, 2017

We almost made it out of June without needing another edition of “This Week in Trump”. This week, however, was really a doozy. Here’s a (no doubt partial) list of the recent deplorable doings of Donald Trump.

June 26th: After repeatedly and falsely insisting that his inauguration crowd was bigger than Barack Obama’s, Donald Trump wasted taxpayer money by having the Inspector General for the Department of the Interior investigate the matter. Their conclusion was exactly what you’d expect: Obama’s crowd was bigger, and no one had to alter any photos to make that so. (Link)

June 27th: The Washington Post reported that a pathetically fake Time cover featuring Donald Trump hangs in multiple Trump-owned golf clubs. Following much mockery of the president’s childish ego, Trump is asked to remove the false covers by Time Magazine itself. (Link)

June 27th: While on a call with Ireland’s new prime minister Leo Varadkar1, Trump singled out Irish reporter Caitriona Perry, beckoning her over to him. He then told Varadkar he was speaking with her, saying “Caitriona Perry, she has a nice smile on her face, so I bet she treats you well”. The conversation was both weird and inappropriate, exposing the type of subtle sexism that exists for too many women in the workplace. Perry later described the incident as “bizarre”, which was extremely generous. At this time, there is no word on whether the president will be attending a sensitivity training seminar anytime soon. (Link)

June 29th: The president attacked journalists Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski in a sickening pair of tweets. As if to confirm to the world that he does in fact have deep seated issues with women, he made specific note of Brzezinski’s appearance, claiming she was “bleeding badly from a face-lift” back in December. Even many members of his own party publically condemned Trump’s comments. (Link)

You probably thought it couldn’t get any worse after Trump explained where and how he liked to grab women, and yet, here we are. Here we are. I’m sorry.


Footnotes:

  1. Varadkar also happens to be gay, a fact which shouldn’t matter at all, but makes Trump commenting on a woman’s physical appearance to him somehow yet more ridiculous. Did Trump know about Varadkar’s sexual orientation, widely discussed in the media? Was he attempting to needle Varadkar, or ensure that no one had reason to question his heterosexual bona fides? We should avoid venturing too far into unproven psychoanalysis, but this added wrinkle does seem worthy of note. ↩︎

This Week in Trump: June 9th, 2017 Edition

Friday, June 9th, 2017

I hope that “This Week in Trump” doesn’t actually need to be a weekly thing. However, just seven days after the inaugural TWITpost, there’s already more than enough content for another edition. Here’s your summary of the incoherent, incompetent, and just plain embarrassing things Donald Trump and his team have done since last Friday.

June 4th: After the horrific attack in London, Mayor Sadiq Khan explained that citizens in his city would see an increased police presence, telling them that there was no reason to be alarmed about this. In the middle of the crisis, Donald Trump took this single line out of context and used it to unfairly criticize the mayor. (Link)

June 5th: Donald Trump also crassly used the terrorist attack in London in an attempt at explaining why the US should implement the despicable travel ban(s) he’s tried to put into place. Legal experts believe this action may well undermine the case attempting to defend the bans. (Link)

June 5th: Donald Trump blamed Democrats for holding up his appointments to key positions in the federal government, despite having submitted no nominee for a whopping 79 percent of open positions. (Link)

June 6th: The White House had great difficulty finding a law firm to represent Donald Trump in the Russia probe, with the consensus being that “the guy won’t pay and he won’t listen”. (Link)

June 8th: Following his failure to retain the services of a qualified legal team, Donald Trump instead relied upon his longtime attorney Marc. Kasowitz. In the first sentence of a statement responding to former FBI Director James Comey’s Senate testimony, Kasowitz misspelled the word “President”. (Link)

A headline like “First Sentence of Trump Lawyer’s Response to Comey Misspells the Word President” is really perfect fodder for “Real or Fake”. Unfortunately, this is all real, and all depressing. On the bright side for the writers over at the Onion, if they want to take an issue off, they can just reprint the real news word for word.

This Week in Trump: June 2nd, 2017 Edition

Friday, June 2nd, 2017

The presidency of Donald Trump is simply exhausting. Though FBI Director James Comey was fired under four weeks ago, it feels more like four months. The inauguration could have been a year ago, and the election easily another year before that. Alas, however, we’re barely 9% of the way through this interminable presidential term.

It’s utterly impossible to avoid politics these days, and that’s terribly wearying. When so much of the news is devoted to what Trump has done, it also affects the writing here on One Foot Tsunami, as it seems more difficult to find offbeat stories worth riffing on. Rather than constantly linking to the latest disastrous Trump news, I’m going to try a summary post containing a few links to the worst of the worst from the past week. These posts will be titled “This Week in Trump”, which aptly acronyms to TWIT. Let’s start with a few of the indefensible things Donald Trump did this past week:

May 29th: After three days, Trump finally condemned an anti-Muslim attack in Portland, Oregon. This horrific incident featured three heroes who stopped the attack, two of them losing their lives in the process. The names of Ricky John Best, Taliesin Myrddin Namkai-Meche Micah David-Cole Fletcher should be heard by all. (Link)

May 30th: It was reported that Donald Trump has given out his personal cell phone number to several world leaders. This insecure phone is certain to be the target of espionage attempts. (Link)

June 1st: The White House released a statement that America would keep its embassy in Tel Aviv. While this breaks a campaign promise to move the embassy to Jerusalem, it should be a positive move because it would keep Arabs engaged in peace negotiations. However, the statement includes this text “But, as [Trump] has repeatedly stated his intention to move the embassy, the question is not if that move happens, but only when”, which seem certain to scuttle any useful peace talks. (Link)

June 1st: Trump announced that he will withdraw the United States from the Paris climate accord, which essentially ever other country in the world has signed on to. The two outliers are Syria, which lacked a functioning government to participate, and Nicaragua, who feel the agreement didn’t go far enough. The move is met with near universal displeasure from business leaders (and indeed the world), including oil giants ExxonMobil and ConocoPhillips. It caused tremendous backlash, leading presidential advisors Elon Musk and Bob Iger to quite their positions in protest. (Link)

That last one is a real doozy, and it’s all I can take for this week. Stay tuned for further TWIT posts though, because one thing we can be certain of is that there will be no shortage of material.