💧 This Week in Crappy Deals

Since they launched in 2008, recently-public company Groupon1 has popularized the idea of local daily deals. That business model has been taken up by dozens of different companies in the past few years, leading to thousands of local deals every day. With that sort of volume, the deals can’t all be gems. Here are some of the crappier deals I’ve seen.

Pregame Early for BC vs FSU at MySportsRug.com

Sure! Grab some beers, fire up the grill, and pre-game for a college football game with the purchase of a rug.

$12 for Two Boxes of Sleep-Enhancing Snack Bars

What the what? Sleep-enhancing snack bars? Yes, on their site, the company states NightFood “provides nutrition for better sleep”. They also say it “helps fuel the important processes that take place in the brain and body while you sleep” and claim that the chocamine and melatonin in each bar “help you quiet your mind and fall asleep more quickly”.

Of course, their site is also required to note that those statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.

$20 for $40 worth of dinner at Sushi Yoshi

Yoshi? Like, Yoshi Yoshi?

This Yoshi?

Yoshis are dinosaurs. Or possibly dragons. They may be part-bird. But a Yoshi is definitely not a fish! They’ve got arms. And legs. With boots!2 You can’t make sushi out of a Yoshi.

Half Off Laser Surgery at Sheth-Horsley Eye Center

“Half off Laser Eye Surgery” sounds less like a daily deal, and more like the makings of a medical malpractice lawsuit. Maybe it’s just me, but when lasers are going to be used to cut my eyeballs, I’d rather pay a premium than get a discount.

Up to 60% Off Large Pizza at Domino’s Pizza

Paying 40 cents on the dollar would ordinarily be incredible deal. Ordinarily.

Footnotes:

The only Ponzi scheme you can buy stock in! ↩︎

Little-known fact: Baby yoshis hatch from their shells fully clad in their fancy footwear. ↩︎