💧 Target’s Undiscountable Items in Early 2024

[Target Circle is still not a registered trademark.]
Earlier this year, I once again received a birthday present from everyone’s favorite Minneapolis-based retail chain, Target. Just as in 2022 and 2023, those nice Minnesotans emailed me the thoughtful gift of a 5% discount on a single order, with many exceptions applying.1 Wanting to track how things have changed over the three years I’ve paid attention to this offer, I created an honest-to-god spreadsheet. Let’s have a look at what it revealed.

A Few Notable Items Which, in 2024, Target Has Decided Must Not Be Discounted 5%

Black History Month
Black history already gets the shortest month, and now there are no deals to be had on it? This is a very bad look.

Latino Heritage Month
Latino Heritage Month runs from September 15 to October 15, which isn’t even a month, though it is a full 30 days, unlike February. I’m not sure which group got it worse.

Pride
I don’t know if this refers to LGBTQ+ products, but if so, this year’s list really has a lot of discrimination going on.

Dynamic Coins, Lights From Anywhere (Junior), Marvin’s Magic Drawing Board and Pens, and Svengali Magic Cards
In a terrible magic trick, Target made the savings disappear.

Elf on the Shelf
If I can manage to buy this little snitch in February, I ought to be able to get it at a discount.

Umbrellas
This is by far the strangest item on the list. After an assortment of very specific toys and other items, now we get “umbrellas”?! I can’t get 5% off on an umbrella, regardless of the weather? Outrageous.

Modifications to Items Which Still Must Not Be Discounted 5%

“Beats Fit Pro, Beats Flex, Beats Powerbeats Pro, Beats Studio Buds” is now simply “Beats”
I applaud the simplification here.

“Motrin” has been replaced by “Motrin Baby”
This, however, I must decry. Babies, who are almost universally unemployed, can least afford to pay full price for their pain relief.

“PlayStation consoles and accessories” is now “PlayStation – consoles virtual reality and accessories”
It’s interesting to see “virtual reality” added here.

“Tylenol pain relief, Tylenol PM” is now “Tylenol (and baby) pain relief”
Again, the poor young children are made to suffer. Won’t somebody think of them?

A Full List of Previously Undiscountable Items Which, in 2024, Target Has Decided May Now Be Discounted 5%

DockATot

Hot Wheels Ultimate Garage

Ninja

Peg Perego

Shark

It was not a great year for items coming off the undiscountable list. That said, if you need a kitchen appliance or vacuum cleaner from a company named for a deadly one-word noun, you’re in luck.

Unless, that is, you actually try to redeem the offer. The page Target’s email routed me to had two major problems. First and foremost, despite the fact that the offer doesn’t expire until next month, I can’t access it:

Second, what in the name of jaggies is this image:

Ow, my eyes. I’m not supposed to get pixels in them!

If only someone would update this image with even a small amount of the care they clearly use in modifying their list of undiscountable items.

Footnotes:

The current full list of undiscountable items: “alcohol, Apple products, Barbie camper and houses, Beats, Black History Month, Bose, Bratz Collector and Designer Dolls, Bullseye’s Playground, Cards Against Humanity, Casper, clinic & pharmacy, Cricut, dairy milk, Disney Princess Castle, Dockers, Do-a-Dot, Doona, DSLR cameras & lenses, Dynamic Coins, Dyson, Elf on the Shelf, Fisher Price Laugh n Learn, Fitbit, Funko Standard Pop, gift cards, GilletteLabs Heated Razor Starter Kit by Gillette – 3ct, Google, Hair Appliances, HALO Baby, Hasbro Games (Classic Monopoly, Connect Four, Jenga, Sorry, Trouble), Healthy Roots Dolls, HP Inc., ICU reading glasses, Infant Optics, JBL, Latino Heritage Month, LEGO, Levi’s Red Label, LG OLED and QNED TVs, Lights From Anywhere (Junior), limited-time designer partnerships, Lovevery, Marvin’s Magic Drawing Board and Pens, Mega Bloks, Meta Oculus and Portal, mobile contracts, Motrin baby, Nintendo hardware and Switch games, Polder, Philips Avent, Plan B, power shave, power dental, prepaid cards, Play-Doh Ice Cream Truck Playset, PlayStation – consoles, virtual reality and accessories, Pride, Revival, Samsung TVs, Scratch Art, Shipt Membership, simplehuman, SI Thunder Glow Drone, Sonos, Sony Electronics, Svengali Magic Cards, Take Action, Target Optical, Tempur-Sealy, Trading Cards, Tylenol (and baby) pain relief, Umbrellas, Ulta Beauty at Target Brands, Unlocked phones, Vera Bradley handbags, Weber, What Do You Meme?, WonderFold.” ↩︎