💧 It’s the Most Email-Y Time of the Year

[Parking officer Steve…GRABOWSKI]
Though it is not #GivingTuesdayNow, it is Giving Tuesday, now, as I write this. That means we’re nearing the end of one of the most annoying weeks of the year, the one that includes the annual Black Friday-Small Business Saturday-Cyber Monday-Giving Tuesday quadfecta.1

Though I received some teaser emails earlier, things kicked off in earnest for me on Thanksgiving morning, with a message from my Alliant credit card telling me “It’s Officially Gift Giving Season!”. Sure. Near as I can tell, this message was a reminder to…use my credit card to pay for purchases.

To be clear, this card always pays me 2.5% cash back, on all purchases all year round. Aside from this inane email marketing, it’s actually a pretty great card, one which has given me thousands of dollars in rewards of the years. That’s why I use it whenever I can. I’m sure Alliant has some cardholders who don’t make use of their cards, but I’m not one of them, and sending me this reminder is just a waste of everyone’s time. At least it’s nicely personalized though, with my name appearing in all caps. I can feel the warmth.

Yesterday, in the early hours of Cyber Monday, I received an email from a charity I support with the subject “⏰ Last chance to make your early gift! ⏰”. Yes, at 8 AM on Monday, I only had 16 more hours to make an early Giving Tuesday gift. Alas, I missed out. Don’t worry though, because today, I can still make a regular Giving Tuesday gift. But if I drop the ball on that? Well, gosh, maybe on Wednesday, they’ll offer to let me make a late donation.

Shortly after sharing this “Last chance” email with my pal Amy Jane, she sent me this text: “Beat the Giving Tuesday rush, Amy!”. I told her I couldn’t decide if that was an actual email subject line, or if she had just invented an even more ridiculous idea. Behold:

It is all too real. I don’t know if Amy acted fast to beat the donating rush. I hope so, because if not, they could be unable to handle a donation today. She could be turned away at the door, and that would just be embarrassing.

The obnoxious email frenzy at the start of the holiday shopping season does have one redeeming quality, though. It’s a great time to unsubscribe from that handful of lists which managed to add me in the past year.

Footnotes:

As far as I can tell, Sunday isn’t claimed. Yet. ↩︎