💧 A Dead Giveaway

[Full disclosure: My USPS packages are delivered by the affable Chris, who texts to let me know he’s on his way, and I appreciate him.]
How did I know the iMessage I received from “vaedpiaghv@outlook.com”, supposedly on behalf of the United States Postal Service, was fake? It wasn’t the nonsense email address, nor the somewhat awkward language, nor the janky-as-heck URL. It wasn’t even the odd and incorrect parenthetical directions referring to an SMS.

No, it was that last line. They came on too strong.