💧 The iPhone Mankini

[Among its many faults, this product is too Borat-adjacent.]
Yesterday, Apple unveiled what seems unlikely to be their newest hit product, the iPhone Pocket. Produced in collaboration with the Issey Miyake design studio, this goofy accessory features “a singular 3D-knitted construction designed to fit any iPhone”. It will also hold “all pocketable items”, I suppose in the same way that a bag will hold all baggable items.

Here’s a look at the iPhone Pocket in action:

And here is just part of the pretentious press release for this silliness:

Born from the idea of creating an additional pocket, its understated design fully encloses iPhone, expanding to fit more of a user’s everyday items. When stretched, the open textile subtly reveals its contents and allows users to peek at their iPhone display. iPhone Pocket can be worn in a variety of ways — handheld, tied onto bags, or worn directly on the body.

…

The design drew inspiration from the concept of “a piece of cloth” and reinterpreted the everyday utility of the brand’s iconic pleated clothing.

Upon seeing this, long-term Apple nerds will undoubtedly be reminded of iPod Socks. That goofy fabric-based product was at least affordable, however, with a package of 6 different colors running $29. A single iPhone Pocket, meanwhile, costs an eye-watering $150, and you’ll need to select just one color:

The iPhone Pocket in Lemon, Mandarin, Purple, Pink, Peacock, Sapphire, Cinnamon, and Black.

The iPhone Pocket has a longer size which runs an even more egregious $230. You should note that it’s only available in the more staid sapphire, cinnamon, and black colors. I’ve got a pretty good idea why the long strap design has no lemon version:

I’m sorry, but also, this is Apple’s fault.

This has been dubbed a “limited release”, so if for some reason you’re interested in the iPhone Mankini, act fast. Also, please write in and tell me why.