💧 The Perfect Valentine’s Day Gift

[Did the world really need another place to buy trash?]
During the Super Bowl on Sunday, an ad for “Temu” played several times.1 In it, a woman buys a flurry of products at what I can only describe as disturbingly low prices.

In 2023, a dress should really cost more than $9.

But what exactly is Temu? The ad was not clear. Is it a fast fashion site? Do they sell used items? I couldn’t figure it out, so I visited the Temu website. In a word, that was a mistake. Though the company had spent millions of dollars on advertising during America’s single biggest night of television, their site was the worst kind of spammy garbage. It had pop-up offers, flashing messages, countdown clocks, and a wide variety of very cheap and very crappy products. Once I ascertained that the company was a reseller of all manner of disposable crap, I quickly left, expecting never to return.

The next day, I found myself inundated with their web ads, likely a result of that initial visit to their site. One particular item being advertised really caught my eye, and led me to open Temu site once again. This is the “Creative Silicone Bicycle Tail Lights, Waterproof Bicycle Accessories Suitable For Night Riding”:

🙊 Barvd

Now you might be thinking “Are those…bike nuts?! Truck nuts…but for a bike?”. I urge you to get your mind out of the gutter. No. Of course they are not glowing bike nuts. Perish the thought!

No, that is clearly a lovely upside-down glowing heart, and it’s just in time for Valentine’s Day. For the low, low price of $3.59, you can show your cycling sweetie how much you care, all while helping them stay safe. I can’t think of anything more romantical.

Footnotes:

The ad is archived here. ↩︎