💧 Kick ‘Em When They’re Down

American cars have many of problems, from fuel economy to looks, and more. Compared to Toyota, however, they’re at least avoiding horribly negative public relations. How can Detroit best take advantage of this? The answer is new slogans and talking points:

They may be ugly, but our cars aren’t going to run you into a brick wall unless you tell them to.

Our cars don’t accelerate uncontrollably, but even if they did, their mileage is so poor, you wouldn’t go far!

We’ll tow your deathtrap away and give you a ride to our dealership.

Our steel beats their plastic, even if that plastic is coming at you at runaway speed.

Sure, your Prius probably won’t kill you. But do you really want to bet your life on it?

Ok, but what about your kid’s life? You monster.

♫ No government official’s told you to stop driving a Ford, lately! ♫