💧 SOIL: Valet Parking

The never-ending quest for Signs Of Intelligent Life (SOIL) continues. During a trip to SXSW, the valet stand outside the hotel had this sign:

Austin really is weird: they tax only overnight parking, not daily parking.

The real issue is there seems to be all kinds of unnecessary capitalization here: “Vehicles, unattended Vehicles or Vandals”. I suppose it’s possible Austin is infested with the Germanic people who ravaged Gaul, Spain, and North Africa in the 4th–5th centuries and sacked Rome in 455 AD. If that is in fact the case, Marriott would definitely want to insulate themselves from liability.

Assuming the capitalization is incorrect, however, it seems the hotel is not responsible for items left in vehicles, items left in unattended vehicles, or items left in vandals.

You’re a valet service. You’ve got nothing but unattended vehicles!

Update: Reader Stephen G. shared the following:

“My wife is a tax attorney so I now know way too much about this stuff. The tax for overnight parking is because they’re assuming that if you’re parking overnight, then you have a room at the hotel. In that case the parking fee is part of your room rate, which in Texas is taxable. Basically, because Texas refuses to have a state income tax we have lots of extra/weird taxes worked into our everyday lives.”

The more you know.