💧 Signs of Provincetown

[Provincetown has no shortage of goofy signs.]
I recently took a day trip from Boston to Provincetown. While there, I saw an assortment of amusing signs I’m now delighted to share with you.

“No Ranger, I Don’t Have Any Cannabis. Just This Here Legal Weed.”

To reach Provincetown, I took the fast ferry across several bays, arriving by water. As I exited the ferry, I was immediately confronted with this sign:

Though cannabis is now legal in Massachusetts, it’s still illegal at a federal level. As a result, many travelers might be carrying legally, until they step foot on federal soil. This is thus a useful sign, in theory.

It immediately goes off the rails, however, with the asterisk. I suspect the word “cannabis” is generally known, but surely “marijuana” would’ve been understood by anyone who needs to know what’s what. As for “herb” and “grass”, well, I simply have to wonder what the hell decade it is. Also worth noting, green generally means go and is also the color of marijuana, but the green areas on the map represents the places where possession would be illegal. And finally, could we get some punctuation here? My god, the more I look at this, the more of a train wreck of design it is.

1, 6, 7, 12, 13, 18, 19, 24 Etcetera

Next up, I stumbled upon a wild sale going on at Lighthouse Candles:

That’s just too many candles! That means you can leave Lighthouse Candles with one (1) candle, or six (6) candles, but not two (2), three (3), four (4), or five (5). Fortunately, I realized there was another number of candles one could leave with, zero (0).

Fess Up, Lululemon

Back down Commercial Street, I had to wonder exactly how much of a “pop-up” a store can be when it has a permanent sign:

“Oh hi! We just popped up with 5000 of these dumb bags! Buy some yoga pants!”

What Does It Mean?

Finally, we have a sign from Arnold’s Rent-A-Bike. Last year, I mocked them elsewhere for their slogan. That was on-the-nose, and more than a little redundant, but it was at least straight-forward. This, however, I don’t even know how to interpret:

I honestly don’t understand how this sign should be read. Are they using quotes on the word “safety” for emphasis? This is certainly wrong, though it’s not uncommon. However, no emphasis is needed there, and there are no other quotes anywhere else. As a result, it reads to me as being sarcastic, as if to express their disdain for bicycle helmets. Is that a thing people do? The cartoon family behaving recklessly sure seems to, I suppose.

Ultimately, I spent the entire 90 minute ferry ride home contemplating this sign. Even now, however, I’m still no closer to an answer.