Ski Jumping’s Penisgate

[Rare but serious side effects include bacterial infections and tissue death.]
Listen, fella, if you’re not willing to inject your penis with hyaluronic acid to increase its circumference so that you have a bigger bulge when they take a 3D body scan to measure you for your aerodynamic suit where a larger surface area can increase lift and drag enabling you to fly farther, then maybe you simply don’t have what it takes to be an Olympic ski jumping champion. Come back when you’re ready to be a winner.

Previously in Olympic ski jumping: Olympic Ski Jumping Is No Longer Bullshit

Link: https://arstechnica.com/health/2026/02/penisgate-erupts-at-olympics-scandal-exposes-risks-of-bulking-your-budge/