OK to Give?

[You might think this is wrong, but there’s no wrong way to grieve.]
When I was in high school, the elderly father of my good friend Josh H. passed away. The body was cremated, and eventually, Josh and his mother traveled to a scenic spot to spread some of the ashes. Josh later described the experience to me as one of beauty and wonder, musing thoughtfully as he looked back.

“It was really awe-inspiring,” Josh said. “We were both just blown away.”

I nodded, attempting to express sympathy and understanding, when Josh continued after a beat.

“Not as blown away as my dad, of course.”

If you think that’s awful, you’re right. But if you think we didn’t both burst out laughing, you’re wrong. The Buddhist monk Thích Nhất Hạnh once wrote “Life is both dreadful and wonderful”, and I think about that often. I think about Josh’s joke often too, and it always makes me smile. It is both dreadful and wonderful.

In a recent podcast appearance, Conan O’Brien and Will Arnett discussed the deaths of Conan’s parents in a similar vein. It’s one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a very long time, and I encourage you to check it out. The whole video is entertaining, but the two minutes from 2:33 on are what I’ve re-watched a half-dozen times since yesterday.

Footnotes:

The full video is archived here. ↩︎

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5GM10HdXvQ&t=153s