While contemplating the corporate edition of the 9-9-9 challenge yesterday, I was surprised that a massive corporation would encourage fans to drink copiously. I should have known better. It turns out the package comes with one (1) single 24 ounce beer. I am entirely unsurprised to find a massive corporation pretending to sell one thing, while providing something much less.

With this promotion, Aramark and MLB have bastardizing to an unforgivable extent the sacred concept of drinking nine beers and eating nine hot dogs over nine innings of baseball. Even if we accept the mini weiners, in no world does 2.67 ounces qualify as “a beer”.

Friend-of-the-site Colin T. pointed me a helpful post from SFGate, which answers most of the questions I had yesterday. It includes an image showing exactly what you get when you buy into this farce:

Aramark, you should be ashamed.

I now know that when you purchase, you do indeed get everything at once. Given that you receive just one beer, it’s surely fewer calories than I estimated, and sales probably continue late into the game. As for selecting your beer, at Oracle Park, fans can have any beer they want as long as it’s Coors Light. Still, my bet that youcouldn’t select your beer wasn’t entirely correct. At least last year, fans in Philly really were given a choice from a range of beers.

In guessing how this all worked, I did get one thing completely right. The phony package you see above costs a whopping $54.99 before tax. That is indeed too much to pay for a completely sham edition of the 9-9-9 challenge.