Was He Cleaning His House Naked? 

Tuesday, December 7th, 2021

It was a million to one shot, doc. Million to one!1


  1. Please enjoy this very relevant two minute video, which is also archived here. ↩︎

We Know He’s Got Real Balls 

Monday, December 6th, 2021

3.3 billion people around the world are fully vaccinated against COVID-19. That’s an incredible accomplishment, but there’s still a lot of work to do. In particular, we need to work around things like a dope resisting the vaccine while still trying to get proof of vaccination.

Back by Underwhelming Not-That-Popular Demand 

Friday, December 3rd, 2021

Last week, Sweden briefly had its first female prime minister, Magdalena Andersson. However, just seven hours after being appointed, she resigned as a result of a parliamentary defeat.

Andersson later said at a news conference that she did not “want to lead a government where there may be grounds to question its legitimacy.” The BBC reports that the prime minister is expected by convention to resign if a coalition party leaves the government.

This is all quite literally foreign to me, but I can see how it makes some sense. However, this week, Andersson again won the position in more ridiculous fashion:

Of the 349-member Swedish parliament, known as the Riksdag, 101 members voted yes to Andersson, 173 voted no and 75 abstained. The country’s constitution allows prime ministers to be appointed as long as a parliamentary majority (175 people) does not vote against them — so it was a close one.

That doesn’t strike me as a great system. Heck, a majority of the Riksdag also didn’t vote against me. Then again, as someone from a country using the electoral college to elect presidents, I probably don’t have a leg to stand on when it comes to critiquing the way other countries choose a leader.

Maybe Switch to Haircutting 

Thursday, December 2nd, 2021

A patient having the wrong leg amputated, and thus ultimately losing both legs, is a horrific story. But what seems more disturbing is the paltry fines being faced by the doctor in question.

On Wednesday, the court in Linz found the 43-year-old guilty of gross negligence and fined her €2,700 (£2,296).

The widow of the patient, who died before the case came to court, was also awarded €5,000 in damages.

That seems low.

Stuck at the Pub 

Wednesday, December 1st, 2021

There are certainly worse places to be snowed in. Anyway, here’s “Wonderwall” for the 79th time.

Julie Anne Genter Kicks Ass 

Tuesday, November 30th, 2021

Back in 2018, New Zealand MP Julie Anne Genter cycled to the hospital 42 weeks into her pregnancy, to have labo(u)r induced. That was impressive, but last weekend, she topped it. This time around, while actively in labo(u)r, she made the trip via bicycle again. From her Instagram post:

My contractions weren’t that bad when we left at 2am to go to the hospital – though they were 2-3 min apart and picking up in intensity by the time we arrived 10 minutes later.

Now that is some real bad-assery.

Caligula’s Coffee Table 

Monday, November 29th, 2021

For almost 50 years, an ancient Roman mosaic was used as a coffee table. Dario Del Bufalo, an Italian expert on ancient stone and marble, describes how he learned of this while signing copies of his book:

“There was a lady with a young guy with a strange hat that came to the table,” Del Bufalo told CBS. “And he told her, ‘What a beautiful book. Oh, Helen, look, that’s your mosaic.’ And she said, ‘Yeah, that’s my mosaic.’”

Del Bufalo tracked down the young man, who confirmed that “Helen” had the mosaic in her apartment in Manhattan.

She was Helen Fioratti, an art dealer and gallery owner. According to an interview she gave the New York Times in 2017, she and her husband, an Italian journalist, bought the mosaic from an Italian noble family in the 1960s. When it arrived in New York, the couple turned it into a coffee table.

The table was eventually seized and returned to Italy, as it appeared to have originally been stolen during the second world war, before eventually finding its way to Fioratti. She might have gotten away with it (for longer than 45 years), if it weren’t for that strange hat!

I Feel Safer Already 

Friday, November 26th, 2021

Today in security theater, don’t try to fly with one big old bag of cannoli cheese. Instead, distribute that same quantity of cannoli cheese across multiple cannoli.

A Giant Rebar Silhouette of a Chicken 

Thursday, November 25th, 2021

It’s a story about a chicken, not a turkey, but it’ll do for this Thanksgiving day. In the town of Fitzgerald, Georgia, Jim Puckett is the soon-to-be former mayor. He got demolished in his recent campaign for re-election, with 95% of voters voting against him. Why? Well, it seems certain he lost at least a few votes because he spent almost $300,000 of the town’s money building an as-yet-incomplete giant topiary chicken that will serve as a rentable Airbnb.

OK, so you’ve got the chicken almost built. What if the new mayor decides he’s going to have it put down?

He won’t do that…. If he did, then, I mean, there’s nothing I could do then. That would be tragic. It would kill me, but that’s the new administration’s problem.

He’s already said that we’re definitely too much into the chicken to not finish it.

Today, I’m thankful for friend-of-the-site Ya’ir A., who shared this with me, and has a great sense of what makes a story perfect for OFT.

Poor Bill 34 

Wednesday, November 24th, 2021

My late father would undoubtedly enjoy a chuckle at this story of ineptitude by West Point cadets. Go Navy! Beat Army!

Thanks are due to friend-of-the-site Chris D., who also pointed me toward yesterday’s story about New Jersey’s new jerseys.

Update (November 25, 2021): In an amusing postscript to this story, I discovered that the New York Times story on this incident includes this correction:

Correction: Nov. 23, 2021
An earlier version of this article misidentified the retired Navy mascot goat that was stolen last weekend by Army cadets. It was Bill No. 34, not Bill No. 35.

Yes, it seems that like the Army, the New York Times also got the wrong Bill.