“Boonrod” Means Survivor 

Friday, April 19th, 2019

Last week, workers on an oil rig 135 miles off the coast of Thailand were no doubt startled to see a dog swimming near them. They worked quickly to rescue the canine from the ocean, and eventually nursed him back to health before transporting him to the mainland. Please enjoy a collection of photographs of Boonrod, the ocean survivor.

Boonrod the dog drinks from a bucket

🐕👅

Because That Ass Is Out of This World 

Thursday, April 18th, 2019

An executive working on the team that manages the International Space Station has been accused of using NASA funds to pay for prostitutes. No word on whether his requisition forms attempted to get reimbursement for “space pants”.

That’s So Gronk 

Wednesday, April 17th, 2019

Rob Gronkowski is a ridiculous individual, and he will be missed. As a parting gift following his recently announced retirement from the game of football, he managed to put a dent in the Patriots most recent Lombardi trophy.

Overzealous DMCA Complaints 

Tuesday, April 16th, 2019

It’s overzealous takedowns all the way down.

Verse for a Boston Moment 

Monday, April 15th, 2019

It’s been exactly six years since the Boston Marathon finish was disrupted by a terrorist bombing. Since then, the race has been reclaimed by its many participants and the city itself. Now, a permanent memorial to the victims of that 2013 attack is almost complete, and local poet Daniel Johnson has added his contribution. It is a tight and precise couplet, to be found engraved in two parts, one at each bombing site.

All we have lost is brightly lost.

Let us climb, now, the road to hope.

The words alone are beautiful, but the Boston Globe also did a fantastic job of providing a more in-depth look at the work.

Nature Is Awful 

Friday, April 12th, 2019

Let’s start your Friday off squeamishly, with the tale of a poor Taiwanese woman who had four tiny bees blown into her eye, where they lived for at least a few hours off the protein of her tears. Sweat bees! Living in eyes! The world is a horrible place.

Not So Happy 

Thursday, April 11th, 2019

“Happy Place” is a traveling “pop-up experience” that’s recently opened in Boston. From their FAQ description:

We are a massive pop-up experience in Boston that is filled with smiles, laughs, one of a kind installations, multi-sensory immersive rooms, and a whole lot of selfie moments that you don’t want to miss!

Sure, that sounds vapid, probably pointless, and perhaps even like the boiled-down essence of everything that’s wrong with social media, but it might still be fun. Let’s see what the Boston Globe thinks about this attraction, which by the way costs $32.50 per person after fees:

So this is hell. That’s the thought that kept rumbling in the back of my mind as I made my way through the slapdash innards of “Happy Place,” a grotty, tacked-together funhouse tailored to the Instagram set.

The full takedown is well-worth a read, but suffice it to say that Murray Whyte is not a fan. I suppose the headline of “‘Happy Place’ comes to Boston, and it’s hell” should have been a tip-off.

That Is Not a Thing 

Wednesday, April 10th, 2019

In the past year or so, Tesla CEO Elon Musk has been a rather reckless Twitter user. As a result, he’s wound up fighting with the SEC, who now wants him held in contempt for violating a settlement agreement reached back in October. Last week, this wound in court again, where Judge Alison Nathan was quoted as follows:

  • “My call to action is for everyone to take a deep breath, put your reasonableness pants on and work this out.”

I feel the need to state for the record that “reasonableness pants” are simply not a thing. Not literally, and not even figuratively.

Just Sell It 

Tuesday, April 9th, 2019

Last fall, an anonymous bettor spent $1500 on a 200:1 futures bet on the Red Raiders of Texas Tech to win the men’s basketball NCAA championship. This seems like a pretty lousy bet given the odds, but as of last night, the team had made it all the way to the finals. Before the Red Raiders tipped off against Virginia, the gambler was offered a guaranteed $125,000 to sell the bet, but opted to hold on to it in the hopes of winning $300,000 with one more win from Texas Tech. Today, his bet is worth $0.

Previously in Texas Tech-related news: Things I Learned Sitting Next to Tom Brown on a Plane

Another Body in the Graveyard of Failed Football Leagues 

Monday, April 8th, 2019

The AAF, best known around these parts for its dogs, has abruptly shut down in the middle of its inaugural season. It is all very strange.