Boy has the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers got a bridge to sell you give to you for the low, low cost of dismantling it and re-assembling it in a new location of your choosing. Two, actually!

Do you want to get haunted? Because baking sourdough bread with yeast from the guts of a 5,000-year-old frozen mummy is how you get haunted.

After newly hired executive producer Nick Bilton made the laughable claim that CBS’s editor in chief Bari Weiss “loves 60 Minutes”, correspondent Scott Pelley had strong words:

“She is murdering ‘60 Minutes,’” the correspondent said. “She does not love this place. She was brought in to kill it, and she’s been doing exactly that.”

Mr. Pelley added: “She has no qualifications for her job; you have slender qualifications for this job. The changes that she’s made at the ‘Evening News’ have been catastrophic, so why should we expect that any of this is going to be any better?”

He’s not wrong.

The Enhanced Games are a rather gross pseudo-Olympics where athletes are permitted to use performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs). Amusingly, at the inaugural event last month, clean athletes competing alongside those taking PEDs won several events. Enhanced Group, the company behind this grotesquerie, nevertheless helps to sell plenty of peptides, testosterone, and other drugs. I’m not sure they made a very convincing sales pitch.

On the internet, one can attempt to make whatever connection one dreams of. There are women seeking men, men seeking women, aromantics seeking aromantics, and so much more. I suppose there are probably not hermits seeking anything. But thanks to friend-of-the-site Daniel J., I now know that in Stoneham, Massachusetts, we recently had police seeking owner of creepy puppet. You can probably see why:

Thanks, I hate it.
[Photo credit: Stoneham Police Department]

It appears that this horror show is apparently a modified version of a massive “Bobby Strings” animatronic puppet.¹ Not long after posting about this, police did indeed hear from the puppet’s previous owner, who had attempted to throw it out.

[The owner] speculated someone fished it out of the trash and left it on a neighbor’s lawn, possibly as a prank.

Sure, maybe. But more likely, the puppet fished itself out and is out for blood.

Footnotes:

1. That page includes a video of one of Bobby’s six different routines, which I’ve also archived for you. ↩︎

Back in March, Joe Mazzulla had some unkind words for the NBA’s “Coach of the Year” award, referring to it as “stupid”. That remark came despite his being a frontrunner for the award. Sure enough, this week, he won it.

Though his manner is brusque, his reasoning is sound:

[Mazzulla] thinks it should be more of a “coaching staff of the year” than a “coach of the year” award, and that is a noble approach. He repeated that during Tuesday night’s announcement of his win, beginning his remarks on NBC by thanking those who made it possible.

“The long nights, the trips, game plans, the video guys that are clipping up the film and coding it, the assistants who are putting in the game plan, I think there’s so much that goes into winning one game,” Mazzulla said. “It starts with the players, but it goes to our staff. I feel bad that they’re not here — but forever indebted to the guys that we have that give up time with their families and their time to give us a chance to win every day.”

Congratulations to Mazzulla, and all the Celtics staff, on winning this stupid award.

Previously in Joe Mazzulla: Inspiring Words

If you’ve ever been unfortunate to hear “Kars4Kids” jingle, it’s probably playing in your head right now. I’m sorry for that. If you’re in California, though, you might be hearing less of the jingle for at least a little bit. Bruce Puterbaugh brought suit against the organization for deceptive advertising, and won. Kars4Kids now has 30 days to amend the ad, likely by adding disclaimers, or stop airing it.

Despite the legal victory, the case feels rather weak. But anything that reduces the amount of play that awful jingle gets is a win.

Don’t miss KarsforKidsJingle.com, either, which rather bizarrely catalogs all sorts of (almost entirely negative!) mentions and references to the song.