Farewell to Stephen Colbert 

Another thing to wish had not happened, but to try to love.

Tonight, the final episode of “The Late Show”, the pioneering late-night talk show started by David Letterman in 1993 and hosted by Stephen Colbert since 2015, will air. While CBS has claimed that financial reasons led them to end the franchise, the circumstances surrounding that cancellation are highly questionable.

The network says it decided to end “The Late Show” because it was losing at least $40 million a year. Sounds credible, doesn’t it? Maybe not. Many insiders — including Mr. Colbert’s friend and direct competitor, Jimmy Kimmel — have noted that CBS’s calculation left out some key factors. It did not include the effect of Mr. Colbert’s star presence on the fees CBS is able to command from local affiliate stations. It shrugged off the value the network has gained from sending stars of its series onto the show for promotion. It ignored Mr. Colbert’s role in bringing viewers to those affiliates’ 11 p.m. news shows, in anticipation of the new “Late Show” episode that would air right after.

Whatever the case may be, for the first time in more than two decades, late-night programming won’t include Stephen Colbert. That loss is worth recognizing.

The network that once had the backbone to air Edward R. Murrow taking on Sen. Joe McCarthy has decided that Colbert — one of the sharpest and most honest voices in American media — is no longer worth the trouble.

What’s being lost is not simply a talk show. It is something older and more important.

Though late-night television was seldom part of my routine, I frequently enjoyed watching clips of Colbert in the days after they aired. I’ll miss that, but I’ll look forward to what he does next.

Previously in Stephen Colbert: “I Love the Thing That I Most Wish Had Not Happened”

“Wade Mode” Is Not “Swim Mode” 

Oh Jimmy Jack, what have you done?

Even in Texas, you can’t just dump your garbage in the lake.

A Tesla CyberTruck drowned in the water
[Photo credit: Grapevine Police Department]

The local authorities reported that the driver, Jimmy Jack McDaniel, was arrested on charges of “Operation of Vehicle in Closed Section of Park/Lake and numerous water safety equipment violations”.

Goodhart’s Law in Action 

“When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure."

Amazon has introduced targets requiring their developer workforce to use A.I. tools, and tracking usage on internal leaderboards. The fine readers of One Foot Tsunami can surely guess what happened next:

Amazon employees are using an internal AI tool to run unnecessary, low-value tasks — not because the work needs doing, but because the activity inflates their scores on a company leaderboard tracking artificial intelligence usage.

Yes, workers started tokenmaxxing.

Previously in -maxxing: At Least AC/DC Would Be Proud

He Built This City 

It is unknown if he did so on rock and roll.

Last September, I linked to Joseph Macken’s impressive New York City model. WBUR now has a brief interview with Macken, as his work has gone on display at the Museum of the City of New York. I hope to get a chance to see it in person.

Black & White Snacks 

That poor hat-and-sash-wearing potato got let go.

The war in Iran has apparently disrupted the supply of printing inks in Japan. As a result, Calbee snack packages are losing their color. The difference is stark:

Calbee snacks in color, and black and white

Those are perhaps not the most appetizing bag of chips I’ve ever seen. Still, they do look sort of cool, in a bizarre way.

Quick and Creepy

If you read this post too, Sid, don’t email me about it.

Just before 9 AM yesterday, I posted about Dawn Zuidgeest-Craft, the septuagenarian resident. Approximately 90 minutes later, I received an email to my work account with the subject line “if Dawn can be a doctor at 72- it’s never too late for anything”. I was initially confused as to what was happening. When I opened the email, however, I saw that it was simply spam. Impressively well-targeted spam, but spam nonetheless:

An email message readingf “If Dawn Zuidgeest-Craft can become a doctor at 72, it's never too late to evaluate Deel as your payroll provider. Deel handles payroll, compliance, benefits all from one platform. Curious, do you have a payroll provider right now or is the process handled manually? ”
As I know the impact an uncommon last name can have, I’ve lightly censored the above email.

I occasionally mention my day job on here, but One Foot Tsunami and Rogue Amoeba are really quite distinct entities. They do not overlap. Attempting to leverage a cursory glance at my humor website to get my company as a payroll client is at best gross, and at worst creepy. Don’t do this.

The Septuagenarian Resident 

Dawn Zuidgeest-Craft kicks ass.

At the age of 72, Dawn Zuidgeest-Craft is about to become a doctor. When I saw that headline, I had questions, She’s got answers, as well as thoughts on improving education for all medical professionals.

At Least AC/DC Would Be Proud 

At least “Scrotox” has a great name.

Wikipedia defines “looksmaxxing” as “an online self-improvement practice focused on the process of maximizing one’s physical attractiveness.” There seem to be some problematic aspects, but the general desire to improve one’s appearance does not strike me as a unusual.

By contrast, there’s ballmaxxing, which is exactly what you’d guess it is.

Even if the procedure is executed perfectly, doctors tend to warn against scrotal inflation. “The scrotum area is very sensitive and contains delicate structures, including the testes, blood vessels, and nerves, which are not designed to accommodate fluid distension,” says Dr. Shirin Lakhani, an aesthetic physician and intimate health expert in Kent, England. If a scrotum is stretched past its limit and can no longer expand, the skin ruptures.

Yeah, no.

Happy Mother’s Lengths of Time

I had to type “D-a-y” letter by letter, like an animal.

As I wrote a text message yesterday, I was presented with the dumbest set of auto-suggestions I can recall ever seeing. Please marvel at the ridiculousness:

A line of text that says “Happy Mother’s” and auto suggestions of “Week”, “Month”, and “Weekend”

Mothers certainly deserve a full month, but at present, that’s not what we’ve got.

One Hell of a Pop Quiz 

Those are some well-earned pins.

As Karl Arps was teaching about the signs of a heart attack in a CPR lesson, he went into cardiac arrest. Thankfully, his students all passed the test.