The Cleaning Fairy Is Real 

Friday, July 30th, 2021

I don’t know where I sign up for this service, but I sure would like to.

Emoji Skin Colors 

Thursday, July 29th, 2021

As a Caucasian male, I stick with the yellow skin tones when it comes to emoji. Given the unsettling recent rise in white nationalism around the world, as well as the countless atrocities of the past, it just feels best to use the default. For others, however, the question may be stickier.

Sir Charles Does Not Mince Words 

Wednesday, July 28th, 2021

Never let it be said that Charles Barkley shilly-shallied when it came to the question of whether folks should get vaccinated against COVID.

Breaking News: Siri Continues to Be Bad

Tuesday, July 27th, 2021

On Sunday, I wanted to know the score of the baseball game between the soon-to-be Cleveland Guardians and the Tampa Bay Rays. I asked Siri “What’s the Cleveland score?”, and it came back with this garbage:

There are times of the year when such a question would be reasonable. Earlier in the year, there were days when the Cleveland Baseball Club and the Cleveland Cavaliers basketball team both had a game. However, it’s the end of July, and the Cavaliers played their last game 10 weeks ago:

A Cavaliers game from May. MAY!

This is even more embarrassing than the Cavs’ record.

The Boston Renegades Kick Ass

Monday, July 26th, 2021

Back in 2015, I wrote about the disappointing end of the Boston Militia, Boston’s tremendously talented women’s tackle football team. A few months later, I was delighted to report on the rise of a new team, the Boston Renegades. Since that rebirth, the team has performed at an exceptionally high level, and the world is slowly starting to take notice.

Last week, the New England Patriots and owner Robert Kraft recognized the Renegades ahead of their trip to the national championship. That game took place at the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio, and the Renegades were flown there on the Patriots team plane. On Saturday, they did their jobs and claimed their third straight championship since 2018 (regrettably, the 2020 season went unplayed due to the COVID-19 pandemic). This team is incredibly good, and they deserve much, much more attention than they currently receive.

There will be at least a bit more attention paid in the near future, because superstar Renegades quarterback Allison Cahill’s game-worn jersey will be displayed in the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

[Photo credit: @BostonRenegades]

That’s a good start, but perhaps we’ll one day see some actual WFA players inducted into the Hall.

Want to learn more about the Boston Renegades and women’s tackle football? Give “Born to Play” a watch on Netflix.

The Guardians of Traffic and Now Baseball 

Friday, July 23rd, 2021

As promised back in December, the Cleveland Baseball Club has announced their new name: The Guardians. They recruited renowned Cleveland actor Tom Hanks to narrate their introduction, and I think it’s great. I also like how much of the old name can be found in the new name. But best of all is the way this new name connects to the city and the Hope Memorial Bridge, which features incredible art deco “Guardians of Traffic”.

In related news, Washington, it’s time to quit faffing around.

The Math Says Make It Look Like a Wanger 

Thursday, July 22nd, 2021

All rockets are rather phallic, but the rocket which took Jeff Bezos to space on Tuesday was especially so. Just look at it:

A visual of the rocket Bezos took to the edge of space, which looks an awful lot like a penis.
“I don’t know, sir. But it looks like a giant…”

The Guardian dove in on just why this rocket looked especially like a penis.

“Illegal Voting” in Texas and the Need for Bail Reform 

Wednesday, July 21st, 2021

This story is infuriating, representing as it does a hideous abuse of power. In March 2020, a man named Hervis Rogers waited over six hours just to vote in the Texas primary, catching the eye of a CNN news crew.

“I figured like it was my duty to vote. I wanted to get my vote in to voice my opinion. And I wasn’t going to let nothing stop me. So I waited it out,” Hervis Rogers told CNN at the time.

Now, a year later, Rogers has been arrested on charges of “illegal voting”. It does appear that Rogers was ineligible to vote last year, as he was on parole at the time. However, a conviction under the law in Texas requires that Rogers knew he wasn’t eligible. It seems rather unlikely that anyone would wait hours to vote when they knew they were ineligible, and even less likely that they would agree to be interviewed on national news.

And yet here we are, with Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton boasting about this ridiculous prosecution:

“Hervis is a felon rightly barred from voting under TX law,” Paxton said in a tweet Friday. “I prosecute voter fraud everywhere we find it!” Some have questioned the timing of the arrest that came just as the Texas Legislature was discussing new voting restrictions that Democrats had blocked in May. Some democratic lawmakers say Paxton, and other Republicans, are intentionally targeting minorities.

However, as ridiculous as this criminal accusation is, the part that really sticks in my craw is presented as a mere footnote. That’s the fact that Rogers was held in jail on $100,000 bail. There was no violence here, nor even any chance of Rogers committing this crime again any time soon. And yet the judicial system in Texas determined that Rogers needed to come up with six figures in order to get out of jail. That’s despicable.

Pre-conviction detention is incredibly disruptive, and has the potential for great harm to all of society. As such, it ought to be incredibly rare. Unfortunately, it is not. Fortunately for Rogers, the nonprofit Bail Project provided bail assistance. But such organizations can only do so much. Bail reform is a critical issue in this country, and it’s worth knowing more about.

There Was Also a Hot Dog Tasting Review 

Tuesday, July 20th, 2021

Just as 10 cent beers were a bad idea back in 1974, $1 “Thirsty Thursday” are a bad idea in 2021. When a beer costs just a buck, it should not be a surprise it becomes a projectile.

Honestly, There’s No Such Thing as an Anti-Sex Bed 

Monday, July 19th, 2021

We may still be in the middle of a global pandemic, but Olympic athletes are still going to get frisky. Not even a cardboard bed is going to stop that