Tree of Blood 

Friday, December 7th, 2018

Thanks to a tweet shared by friend-of-the-site Daniel Jalkut, I’ve got a Barvd one-off to ruin your appetite today. As The Atlantic reports, this is an intact blood clot in the exact shape of the right bronchial tree.


It’s so very red!

That’s disgusting. It’s also oddly beautiful.

Puzzle Montage Art 

Thursday, December 6th, 2018

Apparently, mass-produced jigsaw puzzles often use the same patterns. As a result, artist like Tim Klein have started merging pieces from multiple puzzles to create new images.

A puzzle merging a churche and a merry-go-round
Tim Klein’s “Mercy-Go-Round”

Holiday Workplace Celebrations Gone Wild 

Wednesday, December 5th, 2018

I’ve never worked in a real office, so I have to assume every workplace party is like the ones described in this post.

Also, that “Frozen Flasher” entry is like a dirty version of “A Christmas Story”, and that’s deeply weird.

That Hot New Brand Palessi 

Tuesday, December 4th, 2018

I love to see snooty pretensions get taken down a peg, like wine snobs who can’t even tell the difference between red and white wine. As such, I greatly enjoyed hearing about Payless ShoeSource giving the world of high fashion a poke in the eye. Given the success of this stunt, I guess the real question is why Payless stopped.

Eee dont now

Monday, December 3rd, 2018

As I skimmed through the listing for a stamp roll dispenser on Amazon, I came upon this question and answer pair:

A question being unhelpfully answered with the text 'No, í dont now '.

This incredibly useless reply from “Magaly” has been cracking me up ever since. They managed to cram three typos into just four words, which is worse even than this previous train wreck. I have many questions.

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR UNHELPFUL AMAZON USER “MAGALY”

  • Why in the world did you bother replying?

  • Are you aware that it’s not mandatory for you to fill all empty text boxes on the web?

  • How did you manage to type an “í” instead of an “I”?

  • Isn’t it fun to pronounce this emphatically, as “Eee dont now!”?

  • Does a missing period count as a typo? If so, we’ve got four typos in four words.

  • Man, they really nailed that comma, though.

    Previously in stupid Amazon things: This Is Not Helpful, Amazon

When Artificial Intelligence Isn’t Intelligent 

Friday, November 30th, 2018

In China, a high-level business executive was wrongly flagged as a criminal, and had her picture displayed on a public-shaming billboard as a result. Apparently, a facial recognition system spotted a bus ad featuring a picture of Dong Mingzhu’s face, and incorrectly tarred the real Mingzhu.

This story is so dystopian I thought it was likely to be fake when I first saw it on a Chinese news site. And yet now, western sites like the BBC seem to be confirming it. As technology advances, Chinese society seems more and more strange to me.

Previously in the growing Chinese dystopia: The List of Dishonest People and More

Won’t Somebody Think of the Koi Fish? 

Thursday, November 29th, 2018

In Vancouver, an enterprising river otter has recently managed to kill and eat 10 expensive koi fish. Officials are now evacuating the koi to the Vancouver Aquarium to stop the slaughter, but they’re having difficulty capturing them, which is both hilarious and ridiculous. Perhaps they could hire a white-hat otter to capture the koi for them?

This Is Not Helpful, Amazon

Wednesday, November 28th, 2018

Last week, I received the following email in my inbox:

An email from Amazon reading (in part): Hello, Were contacting you to let you know that our website inadvertently disclosed your email address due to a technical error.

The generic nature of this message struck me as bizarre, as did the supposed issue. My email address, and only my email address, was “inadvertently disclosed”, and this is “important information”? My initial thought was that it was a scam of some sort, though I couldn’t figure out what.

Despite the assurances that I did not need to change my password, I thought that perhaps the Amazon link lead to a bogus website. Nope! Apparently, Amazon really was alerting folks to the fact that their account email addresses may have been exposed, to someone, somewhere. This isn’t actionable information in any way. This wasn’t the world’s worst scam, it was the world’s least helpful security alert.

An Interview With Olivia Jaimes 

Tuesday, November 27th, 2018

As noted back in April, New Nancy is lit. Recently, Vulture scored a rare and extended interview with its pseudonymous creator, “Olivia Jaimes”.

Sifting Through Shit for Science 

Monday, November 26th, 2018

Those poor LEGO heads.