Takes the Top Prize Any Other Week 

Friday, April 14th, 2017

While flying from Houston to Calgary, passenger Richard Bell had the second worst United flight of the week.

Pay More, Get Less 

Thursday, April 13th, 2017

If there was any question as to who the Tennessee state legislature really works for, this story seems to make it pretty clear.

“Tennessee will literally be paying AT&T to provide a service 1000 times slower than what Chattanooga could provide without subsidies.”

Hear It Our Way 

Wednesday, April 12th, 2017

Speaking of fast food chains doing weird things, a new Burger King ad is abusing people who have Google devices set up to do automatic voice recognition.

Kentucky Fried Compact Discs 

Tuesday, April 11th, 2017

In Indonesia, CDs are still riding high, and KFC is the place to get them.

Practice Safe Virtual Sex 

Monday, April 10th, 2017

Bravo, ArsTechnica headline writer. Bravo.

They Fooled Me, Jerry! 

Friday, April 7th, 2017

While John H. McCool sounds like a fake name, it’s not. Dr. Martin van Nostrand, however, is, and he’s certainly not writing any research papers.

Forgetful Riders 

Thursday, April 6th, 2017

In an effort to show off the easy way passengers can recover their lost items, Uber has created a Lost & Found Index. It’s an interesting set of aggregated data, but it’s left me with one very important question: Who the hell reports missing Hot Cheetos?

Only Off by 10,000 Miles 

Wednesday, April 5th, 2017

I frequently take the train through New York and New Jersey, and when I do, I pass through two successive stations: New York Penn Station and Newark Penn Station. I get a chuckle each time thinking about how often someone must get off at the wrong station, given the similarities in their respective pronunciations. It seems especially likely that a rider might exit early when coming north, as they hear the stop pronounced over a crackly loudspeaker. In that case, rather than winding up in the middle of Manhattan, a traveller would discover they’d disembarked in not-exactly-glamorous Newark, New Jersey.

So it is that I’m also quite amused by these folks who aimed for Sydney, Australia, but wound up quite far off the mark.

Bad Ads: Clickbait

Tuesday, April 4th, 2017

If you’ve spent any time on this here web without an ad blocker, you’ve undoubtedly seen some lousy advertising. While reading a tech site which shall remain unnamed, I was recently stunned by the tremendously low quality of the following ad block:

Let’s take a look at each of the parts of this triptych of terrible.

The first block shows a photograph of actress Rebel Wilson on the left, and a caption proclaiming that she’s lost a tremendous amount of weight. While a quick search indicates Ms. Wilson may indeed have slimmed down some, the photo on the right is simply a disturbingly photoshopped version of Ms. Wilson. Classy!

The second block again shows two photos. On the left is actress Laura Dern in perhaps her most famous role, as khaki shorts-wearing, Triceratops poop-sifting Dr. Ellie Sattler from the movie “Jurassic Park”. On the right is what looks to be a mugshot of some sort. While it’s plausible that this could be Ms. Dern in some sad fall from grace, that’s not the reality. In fact, this is simply some other poor woman entirely. Since her part in the blockbuster hit of 1993, Ms. Dern’s career has continued with parts both big and small, and nary an arrest to be found.

Oddly, this third block is entirely truthful. The former Mr. Heidi Klum, “Kiss from a Rose” singer Seal, is not just a lupus sufferer.1 He’s also a tremendous marksman, and using his techniques can increase the quality of your shooting tremendously.


Footnotes:

  1. While it’s very rare, sometimes it is in fact lupus.↩︎

Refusing, Big League 

Monday, April 3rd, 2017

There were three games yesterday, but today’s the real, full Opening Day for Major League Baseball. Slate has a list of the top 10 reasons why Donald Trump is refusing to throw out the first pitch for the Washington Nationals.