I’m Unclear on How a Metal Detector Helped 

Thursday, January 5th, 2017

Frankly, six centimeters doesn’t seem very mammoth to me.

I’m Not Saying It’s a Good Excuse 

Wednesday, January 4th, 2017

If you’re a little heavier than you were before the start of the holiday season, you can blame it on the fact that there’s apparently an entirely new organ in your body. Scientists have just discovered the mesentery.

Expensive Plastic Bags 

Tuesday, January 3rd, 2017

Possessing marijuana is now legal in Massachusetts. Selling marijuana is still illegal, however. Gifting marijuana, though, is specifically allowed. Still, this probably is not.

Maybe The Polarity Was Flipped 

Monday, January 2nd, 2017

I for one am shocked that a plastic band with a small magnet inside it sold for $80 doesn’t repel sharks!

2016 Just Keeps Taking 

Friday, December 30th, 2016

You probably don’t know Robert Leo Hulseman’s name, but it’s extremely likely he’s been a part of your life. Among other things, Hulseman created the red Solo cup used at parties the world over, and he passed earlier this month at the age of 84. Pour some out for him this weekend. Your hosts will understand.

Cows Can Jump? 

Thursday, December 29th, 2016

When Hannah Simpson’s family couldn’t afford a horse for her to ride on their farm, she started riding a cow instead.

Update (December 30th, 2016): Simpson has an Instagram feed, and it includes a video the cow jumping.

JFDI 

Wednesday, December 28th, 2016

When farmer Christine Conder’s neighbors needed a fix for their internet connectivity problems, she decided to run her own fiber-optic cable to them. Now she’s helped create a high-speed ISP called B4RN (Broadband for the Rural North), serving 2300 people.

The Difficulties of Being a Father 

Tuesday, December 27th, 2016

Keaton Patti is dealing with the difficulties of fatherhood, like the burden of not knowing which member of Daft Punk his son.

If you don’t think I’ve straight-up asked my boy which robot he is, you’re wrong. He always just shrugs and says, “The futuristic one.” That’s both of them! That’s like asking your son which member of Kiss he is, and him saying, “The one with the makeup!”

The Santa Convention 

Monday, December 26th, 2016

Last July, hundreds of Santas Claus descended upon Branson, Missouri for the 2016 Discover Santa convention. It was…really something.

God I Love the Holidays! 

Friday, December 23rd, 2016

When a mall elf sprays a family with mace because they took their own unsanctioned pictures of Santa, I can only think to say “Happy holidays, everyone!”.