There Is No SSL Certificate for Teams 

Wednesday, February 5th, 2020

If the virtual office goes down on Monday morning, is anybody really upset?

Pablo Escobar’s Invasive Hippos 

Tuesday, February 4th, 2020

Columbian drug lord Pablo Escobar has been dead for almost 30 years, but he continues to wreck havoc in the world. In 2020, that destruction comes in the form of invasive hippopotamuses.

Please Enjoy More Than Two Dozen Owl Photos 

Monday, February 3rd, 2020

The Super Bowl may be over, but the superb owls remain.

An amusing pygmy owl

Sadly, the Coupons Do Not Work 

Friday, January 31st, 2020

For years and years, CVS has been the butt of jokes related to their absurdly long receipts. The fact that they continue to print these ridiculous monster receipts despite the widespread mockery might indicate it drives more sales. However, the fact that no other store has followed suit would seem to indicate the opposite.

Whatever the truth is, you can now buy a scarf or necktie patterned after the receipts.

Holy Humblebrag, Batman! 

Thursday, January 30th, 2020

Recently, Burt Ward got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. As part of the press for this, he told a completely true and not at all ridiculous story about his prominent Boy Wonder bulge, and how the network attempted to get him to reduce it. You might think the pills Ward mentions are made up, but that is obviously that’s not so.

Meet the Y’alls 

Wednesday, January 29th, 2020

There’s a new baseball team in Kentucky, and they’ve got quite a name: The Florence Y’alls. The name is a reference to the Florence Y’all water tower, seen below, which features a truly ridiculous tale of ingenuity.

Minor and independent league baseball often has the best branding.

The Reason Is Undoubtedly a Super Bowl Ad 

Tuesday, January 28th, 2020

As CNN put it, “Mr. Peanut is dead for some reason”. Mr. Peanut’s Twitter account confirmed the “death”, stating “He died doing what he did best – having people’s backs when they needed him most.” Is that what Mr. Peanut did best? Or, you know, at all? I thought he just got rich selling out his own kind.

AJ Willingham’s piece is a good one though.

Does Mr. Peanut have a rich, haunted backstory that would lead him to such a decision?…Perhaps such self-sacrifice is in his nature. What a twist that would be! The monocled bourgeoisie icon contained multitudes all along.

Since absolutely nothing makes sense, all of the cookies, snack foods and other residents of Sentient Brand Land mourned the peanut’s passing on Twitter.

I can very much wait to see how this stupidity turns out.

Update (January 28th, 2020): Well, the whole thing managed to get even stupider. Following the death of Kobe Bryant, Planters has decided to pause their campaign.

If you’re keeping track, it’s apparently OK to create an ad campaign around the (almost certainly fake) death of a brand mascot at normal times, when countless millions of people are actively grieving their own personal tragedies and losses. But if a celebrity dies in tragic fashion, then it needs to be evaluated “through a lens of sensitivity”.

This Could Turn Into a Depressing Career 

Monday, January 27th, 2020

After a Detroit man filed suit against his former employer alleging racial discrimination. he received a settlement that included almost $100,000 dollars in checks. Rather than depositing his checks, however, his bank called the police on him.

A Look at WikiHow’s Bizarre Art 

Friday, January 24th, 2020

WikiHow is home to countless how-to guides, many of them strange or seemingly unnecessary. The strangest thing about the site, however, is surely the frequently bizarre illustrations. The site is packed with literally millions of drawings in a style that is difficult to describe. Give the “Random Article” link a click or two, and you’ll undoubtedly hit something that’ll stop you in your tracks, like this doozy from “How to Teach Your Child Good Interpersonal Communication Skills”:

That child is missing at least part of its face.

Over at OneZero, Peter Slattery has gone deep on the origins of WikiHow’s illustrations, and it’s fascinating.

An Unreasonable Burden 

Thursday, January 23rd, 2020

$25,000 is an awfully steep price for a couple of one-way train tickets, but that’s what Amtrak quoted Access Living, a disability service and advocacy center in Chicago.