Salmon Chaos

Thursday, March 18th, 2021

I have a lot of questions about this story of dozens of Taiwanese people changing their last name to “salmon” in order to get free food.

Questions about this strange Taiwanese all-you-can-eat sushi promotion

  • Just how little work is it to change your name in Taiwan?

  • How did the government decide that the number of allowable name changes would be three?

  • After a name change, how quickly can you obtain a new ID, with your new fish-based name?

  • Would former Major Leaguer Tim Salmon qualify for this promotion?

  • The promotion provides “an all-you-can-eat sushi meal along with five friends”. Does that mean the name-changer gets free food, provided they bring five paying friends (rather steep)? Or that up to six people, including the name-changer, get free food (rather bad business)?

  • When you’re done with this foolishness, do you change back immediately, thereby leaving yourself with just one more name change available? Or do you rock the salmon name for awhile, so you have two more changes remaining?

  • At a glance, this promotion seems to be poorly thought out on many fronts. Then again, it’s now leading to a ton of free press. On the third hand, the aforelinked article doesn’t even mention the chain (“Sushiro”) that offered this promotion by name.

    Regardless, I’m glad they did it, because it adds to the weirdness of the world in a wonderful way.

“Einstein Cafe” Is a Curious Name, for Many Reasons 

Wednesday, March 17th, 2021

I don’t think it’s really the place of governments to squash idiotic fads. Still, the apparent craze of adults drinking iced coffee out of baby bottles in the Middle East is very, very dumb.

I should note that while this activity is purportedly very popular, I’ve yet to find a single picture of actual adults drinking from one of these bottles. Every mention of this is accompanied by the same picture of this masked server:


Perhaps the people engaging in this are savvy enough to know they’re best off not being photographed in flagrante delicto? Also, come on! That bottle literally says “It’s for baby”.

That’s Just Car Theft With Extra Steps 

Tuesday, March 16th, 2021

There’s a common expression that says you shouldn’t break the law while you’re breaking the law. It’s an amusing formulation which conveys the idea that compounding your crimes makes it’s more likely you’ll get caught. For example, if you’re driving around with illegal drugs, don’t also run a stop sign.

I’m not sure if misusing a loaned vehicle is a crime in its own right, but if so, that saying may apply to the case of Eric Dion Warren. Either way, it’s definitely a bad idea to rob a bank while using a dealer’s loaner car, and then return to that dealership to try to buy a car from them with your freshly stolen money.

Previously in unusual crime sprees: Jeremiah Sadler’s Big Adventure

Virtual Unwrapping 

Monday, March 15th, 2021

Prior to the invention of the gummed envelope, letterlocking was a common method of securing a letter against being read while in transit.

Now, using a high-resolution X-ray scanner coupled with computer analysis, researchers have been able to virtually open a locked letter and read its contents.

Pablo Escobear Is a Really, Really Great Name 

Friday, March 12th, 2021

Apparently, back in 1985, a bear was found dead from a massive cocaine overdose. Now, they’re making a movie, which will almost certainly be terrible. By contrast, this Rolling Stone overview of the story is a quick and enjoyable read.

The Phone of the Wind 

Thursday, March 11th, 2021

A decade ago today, the Tōhoku earthquake and tsunami led to more than 15,000 deaths in Japan. Now, thanks to Itaru Sasaki, their survivors have a place to process their grief.

“There are many people who were not able to say goodbye,” he says. “There are families who wish they could have said something at the end, had they known they wouldn’t get to speak again.”

Fitting 

Wednesday, March 10th, 2021

Shoe Zone is a British footwear retailer that’s recently had a management shakeup, appointing a new finance director.

Shoe Zone has named Terry Boot as its next finance boss after predecessor Peter Foot walked away from the role.

If Shoe Zone finds themselves needing to give Boot the boot, I hope they’ll replace him with someone by the last name of Cobbler. Or Laster. Keep this ridiculous thing going as long as possible.

A Supercentenarian Is Not a Sure Thing 

Tuesday, March 9th, 2021

In the near future, the Olympic torch will be making its way across Japan, ahead of the Tokyo Summer Olympics. When it passes through the town of Shime, 118 year old Kane Tanaka is scheduled to carry it for a bit.

At 118 years old, the world’s oldest living person is preparing to carry the Olympic torch this May in Japan. Kane Tanaka, who has twice survived cancer, lived through two global pandemics and loves fizzy drinks, will take the flame as it passes through Shime, in her home prefecture of Fukuoka.

Good for her! Also, is there a backup plan?

The Hovering Ship 

Monday, March 8th, 2021

Today in neat stuff, a rare optical illusion recently made it appear that a ship was hovering in the air off the coast of England.

[Photo credit: David Morris]

It’s called a “superior mirage”, which is both a technical term and an apt description.

A Site for Ursine STDs

Friday, March 5th, 2021

Many moons ago, I received a rather bizarre offer to purchase the domain baronvd.com. As I noted then, it sounds like a site for fancy sexually-transmitted diseases. Early this morning, I received a new and perhaps even more ridiculous come-on:

An email offering bearvd.com for sale

Long-time readers will recall that I own the Barvd.com domain, which is no doubt why I’m receiving this email. Still, despite the closeness in letters, there’s no actual relation between the domains. Barvd.com was initially purchased to showcase the grossest in social media tweets, and now covers all matter of vomit-inducing unpleasantness. Though this bearvd.com domain adds just one letter to Barvd, it is about as related as pens.com1 and penis.com2 would be.

However, if you’re a veternarian specializing in treating venereal diseases in bears, this could be just the site for you. Let me know, and I’ll put you in touch with Lloyd Childs.


Footnotes:

  1. At the time of publication, this is a site for crappy branded items, including pens, as well as notepads, glasses, and much more. ↩︎

  2. Shockingly, this domain currently leads to no site at all, though it is available for purchase if you have a spare $1 million (USD). Alternately, you can lease it for just $21,667 per month. ↩︎