The CES trade show wraps up today, and the 2026 Worst in Show awards are out. If an AI companion advertised as “your always-on 3D soulmate” isn’t the most dystopian thing you read this week, please don’t tell me what is.
Get Out
The succinct sign language interpretation of “Get the fuck out” is perfect.
Thursday, January 8th, 2026
Thirteen years ago, in response to the terrorist attack on the Boston Marathon, Red Sox slugger David Ortiz dropped an incredibly necessary F-bomb on live television.
Yesterday, in response to the despicable killing of Renee Good by a masked ICE agent, Minneapolis mayor Jacob Frey used an even more justified profanity. His statement is angry, it is powerful, and it is worth watching.1 I’ll quote part of it here:
They are already trying to spin this as an action of self-defense. Having seen the video myself, I want to tell everybody directly, that is bullshit. This was an agent recklessly using power that resulted in somebody dying, getting killed.
…
I do have a message for our community, for our city, and I have a message for ICE. To ICE: Get the fuck out of Minneapolis.
We do not want you here. Your stated reason for being in this city is to create some kind of safety, and you are doing exactly the opposite. People are being hurt. Families are being ripped apart. Long-term Minneapolis residents that have contributed so greatly to our city, to our culture, to our economy are being terrorized, and now, somebody is dead. That’s on you.
Let’s go one further. ICE should get the fuck out of existence.
Footnotes:
The full video is archived here. ↩︎
He Got Better ∞
“Generate, but edit” should perhaps be the new ”Trust, but verify”.
Tuesday, January 6th, 2026
Recently, a Utah police officer was turned into a frog by some imperfect A.I. report-writing software. It may or may not be wise for the police to use artificial intelligence to generate their reports. As with pretty much everything related to A.I., though, it is definitely wise to review the output. In fact, it ought to be mandatory.
Way to Go, Apple Maps
Fun with maps!
Monday, January 5th, 2026
Last week, I received a notification from Apple that my map edit had been approved. I don’t send in many corrections to Apple, so I was pretty sure this meant Maranville Street could now be found on Apple Maps. I eagerly opened up the app to see.
There it is! A search for “Maranville Street, Boston, MA” no longer stupidly sends me to North Carolina. Instead, the map zooms in to Chestnut Hill, where the road is correctly labeled. Maranville Street is real, according to Apple Maps, and that’s delightful.
Alas, since my previous post, Google Maps has removed Maranville Street. The bus stops remain, though, which means a search still takes you to the correct location and shows this incongruous result:
Naturally, I’m working to correct the issue:
Fingers crossed!
Why, Though? ∞
If you work in space, any salary is astronomical.🥁
Friday, January 2nd, 2026
A few months back, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman sat down for an interview with Cleo Abram. I confess to not making it through more than a minute of that video. Perhaps I should, but for now, Fortune’s Preston Fore managed to get to at least the 22 minute mark. That’s where this quote can be found:
“In 2035, that graduating college student, if they still go to college at all, could very well be leaving on a mission to explore the solar system on a spaceship in some completely new, exciting, super well-paid, super interesting job,”
OK, so just so I’m clear, in a decade, perhaps college won’t be a thing and definitely space jobs will be. Also, space explorers will be “super well-paid”, which somehow makes sense.
Space exploration can be incredibly inspirational, but it certainly seems best served by governments. Meanwhile, Carnegie built libraries. I really can’t believe that all of these chucklefuck billionaires have decided on a private space race.
It‘ll Still Be Two Days ’Til I Say I’m Sorry
Actually, I’m not going to apologize at all. This dumb joke makes me laugh and laugh.
Thursday, January 1st, 2026
Last month, I found myself making a purchase from Groupon. I know, I was as surprised as anyone that the company even still existed. Seeking out a discounted version of Microsoft Office led me to that relic of the past, where a possibly trustworthy third-party named “2Go Software” was selling seemingly legitimate software licenses for Office. I successfully purchased, got the software set up, and went on my way.
Seven days later, 2Go sent me what is without a doubt the worst Barenaked Ladies cover I have ever received via email:
I encourage you to attempt singing this yourself.
No Stunt Asses ∞
Also, the difference between “capital punishment” and “corporal punishment” is rather important.
Wednesday, December 31st, 2025
I guess maybe this is a spoiler, but in a pivotal spanking scene in the new movie “Marty Supreme”, Timothée Chalamet refused to allow a stunt ass to be used:
“When it came time to whack him, there was a stunt ass. There was a double,” O’Leary said. “[Chalamet] wouldn’t do it. He said he’ll do it himself. He didn’t want some other ass immortalized.”
In the moment, that might not have seemed so wise:
O’Leary was supposed to use a fake paddle to soften the blow, but the prop immediately broke on the first hit, requiring him to use a real one. He says shooting the scene “went on for hours,” with Safdie demanding about 40 takes until 4 in the morning.
I’ll bet that stunt ass didn’t mind being able to sit this one out. And being able to sit, at all, for that matter.
Haverhill Smells Of Dunkin ∞
Poor Sean Wilson.
Tuesday, December 30th, 2025
Speaking of bizarre Massachusetts-based food stories, some folks in Haverhill are being besieged by the odor of doughnuts.
At a Dec. 16 city council meeting, one resident complained that there is a sickeningly sweet smell coming from a manufacturing plant on Creek Brook Drive.
Sean Wilson says anyone walking in the area is “overwhelmed” by the “donut smell.”
“My house smells like donuts all the time, all the time for the last two months,” Wilson said. “It’s distracting and it’s heavy.”
I’ve seen a lot of mockery along the lines of “my steak is too juicy and my lobster is too buttery”, but I wouldn’t want any smell pervading my home, no matter how appealing it might at first seem.
The $400,000 Lobster Heist ∞
Eventually, someone is going to get pinched.
Monday, December 29th, 2025
Earlier this month, a brazen lobster theft took place in Massachusetts. Somewhere between a warehouse in Taunton, Massachusetts and the destination in Illinois, a trucker absconded with a full load worth $400,000.
Dylan Rexing says his business, Rexing Companies, was hired to hire a driver to drive the lobsters from Taunton to the midwest on Dec. 12 but the carrier they hired turned off their GPS monitor shortly after leaving with the shipment and disappeared.
The cargo was never delivered and Rexing said he later learned the driver provided a fake identity, something that has become a growing problem in the shipping industry.
Alas, though many stories reported these were live lobsters, that does not appear to be accurate. From a (paywalled) Boston Globe article:
The load of processed lobster meat took off from Lineage Logistics, a cold storage facility in Taunton, on Dec. 12. The shipment was bound for Costco warehouses in Illinois and Minnesota but never made it there.
I had really hoped this might be some sort of a “Free Willy” scenario.
