Questions About the Virgins

Yesterday I posted an offhand comment to Twitter:

  • 72 virgins doesn’t sound like my idea of heaven. It sounds like a lot of really lousy sex.

This referred to the belief held by some Muslims that in paradise, they’ll be granted 72 virgins. I’m not really interested in the religious aspects of this, but the concept itself strikes me as rather ridiculous. Some questions:

  • As indicated, virgins are going to be inexperienced sexually. Is that really much of a reward?

  • So maybe virgins are your kink. But are these women virginal just once? If that’s the reward, you’re really going to want to make it last. One a year might seem like you’re taking it slowly, until you remember that you’re there for eternity. How do you ration 72 across infinity?

  • Alright, perhaps these are magical virgins, whose virginity regenerates. If so, I want to know one thing: Just how evil was the poor schmuck who’s stuck washing the sheets in heaven?

I’ve obviously been thinking about this a bit too much.