Things I Learned Sitting Next to Tom Brown on a Plane

Monday, September 28th, 2009
Internet switch
  • Tom enjoys sales stickers on his laptop and the world enjoys knowing that his laptop is “VIDEO MESSAGING READY, with a BuiltIn Camera & Microphone [sic]”.

  • Tom’s screen gets very bright when he turns it up.

  • Halfway through a two-hour flight, Tom is willing to fill out a long web form and pay for in-flight wifi. He no doubt has important business to which he must attend.

  • Tom’s preferred user name is ‘thbrown007’. However, as Tom is about 5’7″ and over 200 pounds, he is both shorter and fatter than any version of the true double-oh-seven, James Bond.

  • Tom Brown’s favorite color? Brown. No, no, that would be a terrible favorite color. It’s actually blue.

  • Tom’s mother’s maiden name was ‘Buster’. I want very much for her to have hyphenated her last name after marriage.

  • Honestly, Tom’s screen brightness is really quite high.

  • Tom is a Texas Tech Red Raiders fan. Alternately, Tom is a fan of masked men on horses, enough to take the time to find a picture of one, download it, then set it as his wallpaper.

  • Tom has a daughter born in 1990, and he’s friends with her on Facebook. Alternately, he has a wildly age-inappropriate wife born in 1990, and he’s friends with her on Facebook.

  • Tom can spend many minutes optimizing his Netflix queue, until the Internet is finally switched off.

  • Tom did not in fact have important business to which he must attend.


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