Snail Mail
Birthday cards received via mail: 3
Percentage of cards received via mail which were sent by my mortgage broker: 33.3%
Scoring from 0 to 100, value given to “Has the lowest rate”, when shopping for a mortgage broker: 99.999
Scoring from 0 to 100, value given to “Sent me a birthday card”, when shopping for a mortgage broker: 0.001
E-cards received from friends and family: 2
Other emails received from friends and family, with birthday wishes: 6
Emails received from assorted companies, and the automated emailing robots which represent them: 9
Ratio by which programmed robotic love outweighs human love, using email as a benchmark: 9:8
Gifts
Facebook, Twitter, and other non-email well-wishes received: Dozens
Facebook virtual gifts received: 0, thankfully
Coupons and gifts received from the previously mentioned companies and robots: 3
Savings ING Direct is offering me at the ING Direct Store, for bright orange and belogo-ed things like “mugs, bags, books, and more”: 15% off
Gratitude I feel for this particular “gift”: None at all.