The Republican Census is Depressingly Evil

Yesterday, I mentioned the US Census, which will be arriving in mailboxes soon. However, you may have already received one “census”, specifically the:

2010 Congressional District Census
(Commissioned by the Republican Party)

The Republican Census

Yes, the Republican National Committee sent out fundraising letters designed to look like the official national Census. That someone could think it was a reasonable idea to create a mock census, particularly in the year of the official Census, is bad enough. But the way this is framed1 is absolutely bereft of even the slightest hint of human decency.

I received a later, slightly toned-down version of this “census”. It seems that complaints, either from recipients or the government itself, caused the Republicans to change things up a bit. Nevertheless, the version I received is still designed to look as official as possible:

  • The outer envelope shows my congressional district, useful solely in making this appear official, as well as the instruction DO NOT DESTROY.

  • The first line of the accompanying letter says “Your immediate action is required.”

  • The survey itself again indicates my congressional district. It also reads * DO NOT DESTROY * DO NOT DESTROY * DO NOT DESTROY * DO NOT DESTROY * DO NOT DESTROY * and talks about things like “ensuring that this Registered Survey is properly accounted for”.

Was I fooled? No. Might some people be fooled? Absolutely, and that’s not good for the real Census. Fortunately, it appears the practice will be banned in the future, with even Republicans in the House realizing how heinous this really is.

Nevertheless, I filled out the survey truthfully, even the incredibly leading questions2. I did have to modify the closing statement they provided for me, however. That modification is faithfully reproduced below.

Dear Chairman Steele,
I believe the principles and policies of the Republican Party are worth fighting for nearly non-existent and morally reprehensible, respectively. And I want to rebuild and refocus our Party all across the country to recruit and elect leaders that will listen to my concerns and fight for my interests. That’s why I am sending the RNC a supporting contribution snarky reply today.

Enclosed, please find my gift of: Something dense, just like you, to increase the postage cost.

Return Envelope

I’m off to find some thin sheets of lead. They really shouldn’t have given me a postage-paid envelope.


  1. If you think you stomach it, you can download the full letter here. ↩︎

  2. Q: Do you support the creation of a national health insurance plan that would be administered by bureaucrats in Washington, D.C.?
    A: Yes. We’ve already got one called Medicare. And another called Medicaid. They work pretty damned well, you pathetic fearmongers. ↩︎