In The News: October 15th, 2010 Edition

Fed Deny Protection To Tiny Rabbit [Link]

NO! Now how will the FBI convince other tiny animals to testify?!

Manatee Sheriff: Man Says Cocaine in His Buttocks Isn’t His [Link]

Three questions:
1) A manatee sheriff?
2) Is it possible the author doesn’t quite know what buttocks are, or does the suspect have some sort of pouches surgically grafted onto his ass?
3) It’s not his, but it was found in his asscrack?

The story actually answers questions #1 and #3. Question #2 will remain unanswered for now.

Carrie Fisher: I Did So Much Cocaine on Star Wars Set That Even John Belushi Told Me I Had a Problem [Link]

Now that’s when you know you have a problem.