Four Loko Finale

It’s Friday, which seems as good a day as any to do a final wrap-up post on Four Loko. You read about it, then you read about how awful it is. You may have also seen videos like K. Ryan Jones’ amusing “scientific” test or New York Assembleyman Felix Ortiz’s nonsensical guzzling. As Gawker notes:

Ortiz has long lobbied local grocers in Brooklyn to take Four Loko off their shelves…so New York’s local NBC station basically said, “OK, Mr. Assemblyman, if Four Loko’s so bad, why don’t you drink as much of it as you can in one hour while we film it?”, which makes no sense at all.

A few readers noted that in my write up, I didn’t actually talk much about the effects Four Loko had on me. Ultimately, the most enduring aspect of it really was how godawful it tasted. I certainly did get drunk, quickly and cheaply. Worse, the stimulants hid the alcohol’s effects to some extent, which is not terribly safe. There were no hallucinations or other crazy behavior however – the end result was just drunkenness, followed by sleep. Perhaps the most interesting aspect was that the caffeine didn’t seem to do much in the long run.

Several states, including Massachusetts, have already banned the sale of the product. More recently, the FDA has laid the groundwork for a nationwide ban by warning the manufacturers of Four Loko and other alcoholic energy drinks that the combination of caffeine and alcohol is a violation of the Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act.

All is not lost, however, as Phusion has stated that they plan to remove the stimulants from Four Loko. When the reformulated product returns to shelves, buyers will again be able to purchase their disgusting beverage, albeit with no uppers. On the plus side, it will undoubtedly still be chock full o’alcohol and it will still be frighteningly cheap.

Until next week, thanks for reading One Foot Tsunami – the site that got Four Loko banned.