Back in January, I wrote about world-class asshole Jim Alesi. As you may recall, Alesi sustained injuries exploring a home without authorization. He then waited three years before suing for damages, allowing the statue of limitations on potential trespassing charges to expire.
New York State Senator Jim Alesi: What a Hypocrite
It appears that shortly after the initial post, Alesi withdrew his lawsuit. He posted a 30-second video1 explaining his decision, available on YouTube. This double-talk filled message requires translation from weasel-speak to English2:
Recently, I filed a personal injury lawsuit for injuries I sustained on an open construction site nearly three years ago.
After waiting for my own criminal ass to be in the clear, I filed a bloodsucking lawsuit for something that was actually my fault.
I filed the suit without regard for the anxiety that it would cause the homeowners, the builders, or the community where we live
I filed the suit without regard for how blatantly evil it was. I also didn’t realize that the Internet exists.
I’m sorry for that.
I’m sorry people noticed.
With that in mind, I’ve decided to withdraw the lawsuit and hopefully move on,
After intense criticism and widespread mockery, I’ve decided to attempt salvaging my reputation by slinking away with my tail between my legs.
and do the job that I was elected to do as your state senator. Thank you for your consideration.
Please, please don’t vote me out of office next year.
Footnotes:
This translation schtick originated with John Gruber over at Daring Fireball. Thanks are also due to John several design influences, including the footnote style used here on OFT. ↩︎
