Rejected Chinese Fortune Cookie Fortunes

Monday, April 23rd, 2012

Rejected Chinese Fortune Cookie Fortunes:

  • Try the low-sodium soy sauce next time, tubby.

  • You really should just give up and use a fork.

  • Did you know that during Mao Zedong’s Cultural Revolution, Kung Pao chicken was renamed “fast-fried chicken cubes”1?

  • Worry not overmuch about the problems of today, for soon enough, you will be dead.

  • Tonight, you will have mediocre sex.


Footnotes:

  1. It’s true! ↩︎


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