Scoot Over, Tilda Swinton

Wednesday, March 27th, 2013

This past weekend, I was in New York City for my friend Todd’s bachelor party. It was a well-orchestrated blast, but I fear we may have missed out on making it truly the stuff of legends. You see, most any guy can boast of playing paintball during his bachelor party, or of dining at a fine restaurant. But how many men are there who will be able to look back decades from now with a fond smile and a gleam in the eye, and say “Kids, at my bachelor party, we saw Academy Award winning actress Tilda Swinton napping in a glass box at the Museum of Modern Art”?

It could have been us. Alas and alack, we heard of Ms. Swinton’s dozing too late. Here’s what we missed:

Tilda Swinton Sleeping
[Photo credit: Chloë Grace Moretz]

What does it all mean?1 No one knows. Here’s MoMA’s statement on “The Maybe”, as the piece is known:

“An integral part of The Maybe’s incarnation at MoMA in 2013 is that there is no published schedule for its appearance, no artist’s statement released, no museum statement beyond this brief context, no public profile or image issued. Those who find it chance upon it for themselves, live and in real-shared-time: now we see it, now we don’t.”

For my part, I think it’s possible Ms. Swinton was simply looking to sleep one off, and chanced upon a loophole to avoid New York City’s outrageously high hotel rates. As the Scottish say, “Good on Ya, mate!”.

Though I missed seeing the exhibit, I did have a good few minutes of laughs thinking about crawling in that box with her and attempting to chat:

  • Tilda Swinton, you’re thin, I’m exhausted and the floor is hard. Can’t you just share the bed?

  • I hope you’ve taken my time-saving advice, Tilda Swinton.

  • Hey, what are you doing in this box, Conan O’Brian?!

  • Say, Tilda Swinton, did you know you grind your teeth in your sleep?

  • Don’t make it weird, Tilda Swinton.

Well, weirder than it already is, anyway.


Footnotes:

  1. And for that matter, where does she pee? ↩︎


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