While shopping at a fancy Australian chocolate shop, I stumbled upon this brochure:

That is some high-maintenance chocolate.

It taught me a great deal.

• The ideal temperature for storing chocolate is 15 – 20 degrees Celsius, which means now you gotta do math.

• You may think “It’s not that hot out”, but please, never leave your chocolates in a parked car. Your dog, sure, but not your chocolates, and definitely not your dog and your chocolates together, alone.

• The name for that kinda-gross white powder that chocolate gets is “chocolate shock”. It’s ok to eat though.

• Hey, be careful where you keep those chocolates. Cocoa butter in chocolate absorbs odors readily, so be sure to store them away from garlic, spices, and perfumed soap.

• Note the number in the upper right of the brochure’s cover. Purchasing chocolates requires extensive education, and not one but at least three informational brochures.

Frankly, I don’t think I’m ready for that kind of commitment.

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