Cutbacks at the Ol’ Blood Factory

For most people, donating blood is about one thing: swag. Whether it’s an extra-large t-shirt or a foam beer koozie, you’re sure to walk out of the donation center1 with something good. For the past several summers, donors at my local blood bank have been provided with a coupon for free ice cream at local ice creamery J.P. Licks. As you can see in this artist’s recreation of the old coupon, the promotion even had a catchy slogan:

An artist's recreation of the old coupon
Strict Limit One Per Customer, PLEASE

But giving away a pint of ice cream is apparently no longer feasible, not in this economy. The promotion has been downgraded from giving a pint of blood and receiving a pint of ice cream, to this:

The new coupon
That’s not catchy at all!

Sadly, they’ve opened the door to anything now. It was nice while it lasted, but this seems certain to deteriorate further, ultimately reaching its logical conclusion:

The end result coupon
It’s not as though it’s your ice cream, surly and/or high teenage server.


  1. After recuperating for the appropriate amount of time while enjoying juice and cookies, of course. ↩︎