I Don’t Appreciate Their Ruse

You may have seen the stories claiming that a ghost ship named the Lyobov Orlova filled with cannibal rats is on a collision course with Britain. It’s all true. Or maybe it isn’t. Rose Eveleth, writing for Smithsonian derides the whole matter with a dismissive story. She says that the original quotes have been misread, and that the Lyobov Orlova is probably not full of rats, nor headed toward the British Isles. I suspect it’s a ploy, however, an attempt at a cover-up.

You see, here’s what we know for certain. First, there is an abandoned ship somewhere out there on the Atlantic. Second, ships have rats and rats breed quickly. And third, the ship in question is floating in international waters and whoever finds it can claim it. When someone finally does claim the Lyobov Orlova, they’re going to corner the market on rat meat and get themselves a free boat in one fell swoop. Now, who wants to scrape together some cash to track this thing down, before those bastards at the Smithsonian beat us to it?