Bob Costas’s Unsightly Eyes

Wednesday, February 12th, 2014

As you’ve likely seen, NBC’s Olympics anchor Bob Costas is suffering from a nasty case of pinkeye. When the Games opened, we were treated to the sight of his infected left eye, in hilarious and awful fashion:

Left Eyes
Ooof.

On Tuesday, Matt Lauer filled in for Costas, who’d been benched after the infection spread to both eyes. Lauer will be subbing in tonight as well, and had this to say:

“I had to go in early, not to practice my lines, but to Lysol your whole dressing room,” Lauer said about filling in on Tuesday.

[Costas] plans to make it up to Matt for filling in for him.

“In return for this, I promise to step in on the next 10 ‘Steals and Deals’ and ‘Ambush Makeovers,’” Costas joked.1

Personally, I feel Costas should have worn an eyepatch when the infection was contained to just one eye. Now, I’m not a medical doctor, but it seems like an eyepatch might have helped prevent the spread of the infection.2 If not, it still would have looked badass, even on Bob Costas. How often do you get a legitimate chance to wear an eyepatch on national television? Unless you’re Samuel L. Jackson playing Nick Fury, the answer is never!3

Yet Costas blew it, and we wound up with this horror show:

Both Eyes
Bob Costas should not be allowed on television.

Frankly, it seems like there should be some way for technology to assist us here. Can’t they greenscreen his eyes with a pair of green contacts?4 Use some CGI? Something! I just can’t believe we can put a man on the moon, but we can’t shield the world from Bob Costas’s unsightly eyes.

Footnotes:

  1. Costas seems to believe one of Lauer’s garbage bits is worth 1/10th of a night of Olympics coverage. That exchange rate seems awfully generous to Laeur. Perhaps the infection is affecting Costas’s reasoning, as well as his appearance. ↩︎

  2. WebMD actually advises against an eyepatch while suffering from conjunctivitis, but you can’t trust everything you read on the Internet. ↩︎

  3. Or is it Laurence Fishburne? ↩︎

  4. Because they’re a complete bunch of spoilsports, WebMD also advises against wearing contacts while suffering from conjunctivitis. ↩︎