Mid-Performance Marketing

Tuesday, March 31st, 2015

Since writing about Meh last year, I’ve been following the site. It’s offered the occasional good deal on something useful, incredibly slow shipping, and quite a bit of humor. They’ve also offered a VMP, or Very Mediocre Person, program. It provides free shipping, and other “perks”. Recently, they decided to reward all VMP members a pair of socks. I now present them to you, in all their mediocrity.

Mid-Performance Socks by Mediocre - Never settle for less than minimally adequate.
Mid-Performance

Machine wash in cold water with like colors. Store in a cool, dry place, like the desert at night. Conversion into puppets will void warranty. Do not give socks individual names. That's how you get emotionally attached.
50% Good

As a member of our VMP program, you're officially a Very Mediocre Person. That deserves a reward. But not too big of a reward. Free socks seems about right. So here. They're made by our friends at Foot Cardigan, like the ones they offer in their sock-of-the-month club for $11/month. But this gift isn't from them and they didn't pay us to say that. We paid for this. We deserve your thanks, not them. Just want to be clear about that. Anyway, socks! And thank you for being very mediocre.
It does indeed seem about right.

No two ways about it, Mediocre Laboratories’ messaging is on point. Lackluster, anhedonic point.