Be Careful Out There This Summer 

An Australian man was recently attacked by a sea eagle, which bit him in a very sensitive area. A local ornithologist believes the eagle thought it was going after turtle eggs, but these were huevos of a different sort.

I think this theory gives the bird too little credit however. Isn’t it possible the eagle is smart enough to be disgusted by the grotesqueness of the naked human form, and he was expressing his displeasure?

Update (June 23rd, 2017): Lamentably, today’s link has proven to be false. Thanks to loyal reader Josh H. for raising the warning. While this site is dedicated to the absurd, it also strives to relay only the truth. Fanciful satire is appreciated, but should not be passed off as reality, lest we be dubbed “fake news”. We deeply regret the error.