Get Your Goddamned Shit Together, Sears

Thursday, March 15th, 2018

Recently, I had to purchase a new washer and dryer. Sadly, Sears proved to be the best option for this. Thankfully, the units were on sale, and Sears heavily advertised their free delivery when ordering online. For example, this was on the initial product page:

After adding the product, the free nature of my delivery was again emphasized on the cart page.

Still another note came as I was checking out.

Shortly after, I saw this:

Upon seeing this, I very nearly bailed on my entire order, on principle. It’s absolutely absurd to tout “free delivery” over and over, then require the recipient to allow you a 14-hour window in which to deliver. Sears, this is complete and utter bullshit, and it is no surprise that you’re shuttering dozens of stores as you continue your rapid slide toward irrelevance. Know that I opted against the five year warranty you offered, because I’m not at all convinced you’ll even exist in five years.

Still, I’d come so far, and I didn’t want to start over with another store. With a sour taste in my mouth, I completed the order. Little did I know that this “free delivery” bait and switch would not be the most disgusting part of the process.

Instead, that came shortly after I finished the purchase. Once my charge was approved, Sears texted me. This is what they sent:

A text message reading Thanks numberal 4 letter u letter r order

I was speechless. Why in the name of Nokia’s collapsed marketshare is Sears using textspeak like a lazy early-aughts teenager? And let me head off anyone who might mention the character limits in text messages by saying that one, they could have shaved 16 characters right off the top by removing the prefix, and two, sending multiple texts would be far superior to this travesty.

“Thanks 4 ur order”? I should have cancelled the whole damned thing as soon as I saw that. I dearly wanted to, but even more, I didn’t want to go through more hassle in a futile attempt to teach these dunces a lesson.

Instead, I’ll just publicly shame them here. Be better than this, Sears. A text like this gives me no confidence in you whatsoever, nor in the products you’ve just sold me. Shame, Sears. Shame.


If you enjoyed this post, get updates via Twitter, Facebook, or RSS.