Last week, I received a spammy come-on to purchase some wine via the internet. The ad had more than a few issues.
SIX QUESTIONS FOR THIS SPAMMY EMAIL FOR HORNY WINOS
Is that woman lying down on balloons? Ah, no, I see. That’s actually a rather cool-looking pool float.
Do you folks sell pool floats? I’d buy that pool float.
Did they change the calendar recently? This email arrived on Friday, August 3rd, which was not part of any three day weekend to my knowledge. While I too enjoy three day weekends, a month ahead of time seems a bit premature to celebrate Labor Day.
Oh jeez, is that a cactus behind the pool float? Don’t put an inflatable pool float near cacti!
Say, you mention wine, but I don’t see any. Am I missing it? I see ass. Legs and ass. Definitely no face though, and also, no wine.
Oh, there the wine is, all the way on the left. Did anyone on the marketing team notice that there’s literally no way this ridiculously-posed woman can drink wine in that position?1
Perhaps she could use some sort of straw, but only if she’s some kind of anti-environmental monster. ↩︎
In closing, I’d like to know where I can buy that pool float.
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