Recently, I read the bizarre story of a Canada goose groan-inducingly named Pierce:

That’s Pierce. Get it?

After being shot with an arrow by an unknown assailant, the goose eluded capture attempts by animal control offices for quite some time. Eventually, he was caught and given emergency surgery to remove the arrow.

It was there that veterinarians discovered that the goose had previously broken one of his legs, had been shot with a hunting pellet, and had elevated levels of lead in his blood.

That’s pretty bad, but it gets even more ridiculous.

Dr. Greg Mertz, the chief medical and program officer for the New England Wildlife Centers, said the goose died twice on the operating table and had to be resuscitated.

Maybe we should just let Death have this particular goose. It obviously wants it pretty badly.