Cops Are Generally Not Laissez-Faire Proponents 

Gross, Adam Smith. Be better than this.

The story of a man pleasuring himself on public transit would be little more than gross local Boston news, if not for some stellar writing:

Police say Adam Smith’s hand and penis were anything but invisible as he enjoyed the wealth of, if not nations, himself, around 11 p.m. on an inbound Red Line train.

Bravo, Universal Hub. Bravo.