Apparently, strip clubs in Providence, Rhode Island, have recently received the go-ahead to re-open. Sure, that may seem like a ludicrously bad idea given the extremely contagious global pandemic that hasn’t miraculously disappeared, but I guess the crotch wants what the crotch wants.

Last week, the city’s licensing board approved a plan by four local strip clubs to offer outdoor adult entertainment under the new reopening rules aimed at preventing the spread of the coronavirus.

The new rules, however, are more than a bit onerous. All employees must wear masks at all times, lap dances are prohibited, along with any physical contact, and there will be plexiglass barriers up the wazoo. Well, not literally. Anyhow, they’ve managed to make a strip club sound even less appealing, and that’s a real trick.

As a result, strip club owners are now having “second thoughts” about re-opening. It also appears that dancers are uninterested in coming back to work. One strip club manager bemoaned the whole situation:

“You’re not making any money, you’re just going through the motions.”

That’s a shame for any businessperson. Then again, doesn’t “going through the motions” sort of describe the entire strip club experience anyway?

Previously in bizarre adult entertainment: A Failed Revolution