Clearly, We Need an App for This 

It's not a used car, Wendy. You shouldn't shop online.

Attempted murderers are often very dumb. In the past 15 years, over 100 dopes have attempted to pay for a murder on the website “”. Most recently, a Michigan woman found herself arrested after trying to have her ex-husband bumped off.

Since the website was created in 2005, the owner “has been contacted numerous times by people requesting murders, school shootings and even a baby abduction,” police said. It’s helped prevent 130 murders because the owner always alerts authorities when someone requests a hitman, according to police.

A smartphone app for this is the obvious next step. Apple would never approve it for the App Store, which makes this yet another reason they ought to allow side-loading.