Paradise Jost 

His torso and waist had a blast.

Though the 2024 Summer Olympics are based in Paris, the surfing events are actually being contested in Tahiti. It’s more than a little strange that part of the games is so insanely far away from France. I suppose it’s also more than a little strange that part of France is approximately as far across planet Earth from Europe as one can get.1

According to Wikipedia, at almost 10,000 miles from Paris, Tahiti has set a new record for “greatest physical distance of a medal event from the host city”. Wikipedia goes on to say that the previous record holder dates back to 1956 “when the equestrian events of the 1956 Summer Olympics in Melbourne, Australia, had to be held in Stockholm, Sweden, because Australia had strict quarantine rules for animals coming from overseas.” OK, now cue the music and that…star thing.

🎶 The More You Know 🌠 🎶

“Saturday Night Live” writer and apparent avid surfer Colin Jost traveled a very long way to cover those surfing events, acting as NBC’s correspondent from the island. As he cheekily put it in one video, “this is my job”. Or it was, anyway. Sadly, a ridiculous series of injuries and maladies has forced Jost to step aside, gingerly, one assumes. Among other issues, there was concern of ants getting inside his wounds.

The injury was treated by medical professionals who warned him not to stand in place as ants would attempt to crawl inside the wound

Barvd! Perhaps it’s fortunate that Jost is no longer in French Polynesia.

So ends the trials of “the only person in the world that has made paradise tragic and difficult to deal with,” as NBC Sports’ Maria Taylor put it.

Get well soon, Colin.


Footnotes:

  1. As you can see here, Tahiti is directly antipodal to Sudan, in Northeast Africa.

    A map showing tahiti and its antipodal point in Sudan.

    France isn’t too far off from being antipodal though. It’s visible on that map, circled in the upper left. ↩︎