Let’s look at some Money Quotes, the best in ridiculous quotes from the news.

First off, in South Boston, we have a a true and confirmed scofflaw:

[O]fficers spoke to the victim who stated an unknown male entered the store and took a coffee and a snack without paying for them. ​The victim stated the suspect has done this on several occasions​, ​​demonstrating a complete disregard for ​potential consequences.

Honestly, if criminals had any regard for potential consequences, they probably wouldn’t be out there criming.

Also in lousy criminals, we have a Florida man, because of course we do:

A woman who was inside the HomeGoods at the time of the incident told officers that she saw Thomas enter the store, walk into the aisle where she was standing, and say, “I’m sorry, I have to do this,” CCPD said. The woman said Thomas then dropped his pants, exposing himself.

That’s obviously awful. I guess it’s at least something that he pre-apologized? No, no, it’s still awful.

Let’s pivot to baseball, where big leaguer Willson Contreras was doing a minor-league rehab stint when he had some sort of trouble with an umpire:

Contreras also got into a spat with the home-plate umpire Saturday in Portland, but when asked about the incident Sunday, he didn’t elaborate.…“I don’t know, you can go ask the umpire, his name is Gary,” Contreras said.

Willson doesn’t want to get into it, but you can go ask Gary.

Finally, in better news, Finnish metal detectorist Kalle Lappinen found a cache of thousands of Viking-Age silver coins. He described what happened after his detector pinged:

“With the fury of a monkey, I dug through the soil, bottom moraine and cobblestones,”

I suspected this might be a translated idiom, and a Reddit user on r/Finland seems to verify that. Delightful! Let’s all get out there and see about making that phrase stick in English, too.