Previous “Links” posts

Next Up, Quaker Oatmeal Fried Clams 

Friday, September 18th, 2020

I try not to yuck other people’s yums, but it was long ago established that adults should not drink Mountain Dew. If you are going to drink Mountain Dew as an adult, I can think of no worse way to do so than in a “DEW® Garita, the first official MTN DEW® cocktail”. It’s coming soon to a Red Lobster near you, and it is awful. Behold!

A bright green Mountain Dew based glass of awfulness
This picture was clearly not taken at a Red Lobster, as it is utterly lacking in dank

From the classy copper cocktail shaker to the smaller-than-the-rim-of-the-glass dish of Old Bay (?), to the sickeningly neon green drink itself, that photograph is, in a word, incongruous. Then again, so is a brand pairing of Mountain Dew and Red Lobster.

OK, Next They Need to Automate the Editing 

Thursday, September 17th, 2020

GPT-3 is an impressive artificial intelligence system, which can write text that sounds human. The Guardian used it to write an entire article.

We asked GPT-3, OpenAI’s powerful new language generator, to write an essay for us from scratch. The assignment? To convince us robots come in peace.

If I can get this system up and running for myself, I’ll be able to automate One Foot Tsunami, which would be a real time-saver.

Maybe We Can Finally Get Some Case Law on This Important Issue 

Wednesday, September 16th, 2020

A Malaysian man has claimed that his cell phone was stolen by a monkey, who was then caught on the phone’s camera.

Extreme Monkey Closeup

At present, the owner of the copyright on these photos and videos remains undetermined in a court of law.

Previously in monkey selfies: Monkeying With Copyrights

I’m Uploading It to the Ocean 

Tuesday, September 15th, 2020

If Microsoft’s idea for underwater data centers succeeds, “the ocean” could be the new “cloud”.

Mimicking a Design Is Distasteful, but Not Illegal 

Monday, September 14th, 2020

Did US Customs and Border Patrol just gloat about mistaking a legitimate (albeit extremely derivative) product for “counterfeit Apple AirPods”? It seems probable.

This Could Be A Real Tourist Attraction 

Friday, September 11th, 2020

Recently, John Oliver took a cheap (but amusing) shot at the city of Danbury, Connecticut. Following that, the Mayor of Danbury jokingly vowed to rename their sewage treatment after Oliver, “because it’s full of crap just like you, John”.

The comedian played a video of Boughton saying the offer was a joke and said, “Wait, so you’re not doing it?” Oliver said he hadn’t known that he wanted his name on the sewage plant, “but now that you floated it as an option, it is all that I want.”

I didn’t know that I wanted this either, but now I do. It appears that Oliver will be making donations to Danbury-area charities, and the re-naming will indeed take place. I sure hope so.

Coming to You Live From His Mother’s Basement 

Thursday, September 10th, 2020

OK, it’s not quite as ridiculous as the headline would suggest, but Dodgers announcer Charley Steiner is broadcasting the 2020 season from his own living room.

We Don’t Need This Right Now 

Wednesday, September 9th, 2020

The Egyptian Ministry of Tourism and Antiquities recently announced the discovery of 13 completely sealed coffins dating back 2,500 years. The Egyptians are being urged, by me, to put them back where they came from and not make 2020 any worse than it already is.

The Lowest Bar 

Tuesday, September 8th, 2020

The headline on this Guardian piece is really something:

  • John Kerry on Biden’s foreign policy: ‘He’d never lavish praise on dictators’

That is the lowest bar I’ve ever heard of. At the same time, it’s also a valid comparison to use between Joe Biden and Donald Trump.

Voting Information: Ending the nightmare of the Trump presidency starts with voting. Visit to register to vote, or to check your registration status. Once you’ve done that, make sure your friends and family are registered as well.

Lacrosse’s Greater Good 

Monday, September 7th, 2020

When Ireland Lacrosse received an invitation to the International World Games tournament, it came at the expense of a better-ranked opponent deemed ineligible to compete. The Irish didn’t feel right about that, and sacrificed their spot to set things right, allowing the Iroquois Nationals to compete on the world stage.