Previous “Links” posts

Mitigating Ventilator Shortages With Butt Breathing 

Wednesday, September 1st, 2021

When I read a headline like “A breathing tube through the butt could be an alternative to mechanical ventilators”, I think “OK, but you first”. Still, given the fact that ICUs around the world to have often run out of ventilators due to COVID, this research could one day prove life-saving.

A Superb Shot 

Wednesday, September 1st, 2021

Last week, a dildo was discovered attached to the Old Town Gazebo in Eureka, California. This was, of course, a very juvenile prank. Sure, it’s funny, but it’s not really something I’d bother to link.

However, the whole thing was elevated to high art by the pictures captured by “Lost Coast Output”. The fine folks there documented the removal of the sex toy (which was apparently screwed in place), and it gave us this gem:

Such exertion! It’s majestic.

The Atheist Chief Chaplain 

Tuesday, August 31st, 2021

Greg Epstein is a Humanist, which means he embraces “a secular, values-based philosophy that focuses on people’s relationships with each other instead of with god”. For years, he’s served as the Humanist chaplain for Harvard University, which is a somewhat strange title for someone who doesn’t believe in god. Now, thanks to a recent promotion, things will be even stranger. The atheist will be the chief chaplain for the entire university. In that role, he’ll manage over 40 other chaplains representing more than 20 different religions and other traditions.

Eat Fast, Die Young, and Leave a Bloated Corpse 

Monday, August 30th, 2021

A recent study has claimed that every hot dog you eat takes 36 minutes off your life. That means that American hero Joey “Jaws” Chestnut has lost over a year of his life, just to wieners.

The Time Has Come for Octopus Ultimate Frisbee 

Thursday, August 26th, 2021

Recently, scientists have observed octopuses propelling objects at other octopuses. In particular, female octopi seem prone to fending off unwanted attention from males by throwing at them. Between this and the spite punching, I’m not sure I could like octopodes more.1

As for the title of this post, it comes from this bit of the article:

On one occasion, the researchers did see an octopus throw a shell at – and hit – another octopus by flinging it with a tentacle like a frisbee, rather than by propelling material with its siphon.

I’m waiting, science.


Footnotes:

  1. They’re all valid plurals, and I refuse to pick a side. ↩︎

Come Ride the Spine Snapper 

Wednesday, August 25th, 2021

The world’s fastest-accelerating roller coaster has been taken out of service because it’s been breaking the bones of its riders.

Since December, at least six riders sustained bone fractures after riding “Do-Dodonpa,” a roller coaster that goes at “super death” speed in the country’s popular Fuji-Q Highland Park, the park’s operator said.

The ride apparently goes from 0 to 112 miles per hour in just 1.56 seconds, which sounds awful. Investigators aren’t sure exactly what’s causing the injuries, which have included broken necks and backs. Yikes.

That Seems About Right 

Tuesday, August 24th, 2021

The ridiculously named “Cyber Ninjas” have been conducting what has generously been called an “audit” of ballots in the 2020 presidential election in Arizona. There’s no evidence of any chicanery during last year’s election, but they’re still hoping to sow distrust and doubt in the fairly won presidency of Joe Biden. It’s a truly shameful effort, and it’s going to go on at least a little while longer. While a full report of this ludicrous display of dipshittery was due yesterday, it’s been delayed, because three of the five Ninjas have contracted severe cases of COVID-19.

A Better Brick 

Monday, August 23rd, 2021

After years of research, Lego is finally close to dramatically reducing their impact on the environment, by making a major shift to recycled plastic.

This Clutter Paid for by Amazon 

Friday, August 20th, 2021

It’s not great that the parks department of Chicago is insufficiently funded, and thus has turned to renting space to Amazon, who is placing pickup lockers in dozens of city parks. But it’s particularly bad that someone thought this was an acceptable locker installation:

A very large Amazon locker, blocking much of a sidewalk.

Wheelchairs and strollers aren’t exactly a new concept.

The Place for Adults to Marry Kids 

Thursday, August 19th, 2021

Speaking of states with bad reputations:

Known for its coastlines, mountains and the state that was “first in flight,” North Carolina has also developed a more dubious reputation recently: as a regional destination for adults who want to marry children.

That’s not great. The state is now looking to increase the minimum marriage age from 14 to 16.

“We will have moved the needle and made North Carolina no longer at the very bottom of the barrel of states,” said Drew Reisinger, the register of deeds in Buncombe County. But, he said, “we’re still going to be putting a lot of children in harm’s way.”

Ah, yes, it’s like the classic saying goes: “Aim for not being the very bottom of the barrel. Even if you miss, you’ll maybe be slightly less terrible than you are now”.

A hat tip to the anonymous reader who pointed me to this story. When passing the link along, they stated “[D]on’t, uh, don’t worry about crediting me or anything”.