Previous “Our Terrible Future” posts

Muse’s Flawed Raison D’etre

Doing is the thing.

Recently, Facebook Meta unveiled Muse, their “personal AI agent built for everyone”. Muse goes beyond just being a chatbot, and will attempt to help accomplish actual tasks. From their introductory post:

Muse…doesn’t just answer questions, it actually does the work. It helps people stay on top of things, takes tasks and projects off their plate, and turns long-term goals into action plans.

Meta built Muse from the ground up to be a safe, secure, private, and widely available personal AI agent.

Each person stays in control of their Muse and decides how much access it gets.

Of course, the first big story about Muse was how it read a journalist’s text messages without his permission. Oops. But sure, we should definitely trust Meta with our data this time.

Despite the obvious privacy concerns, the potential of this technology is impressive. That same introductory post states that Muse “takes on more of the work so people can focus on what matters to them”. A.I. taking care of busywork and drudgery is undeniably compelling.

However, Meta’s Chief A.I. officer Alexandr Wang provided a somewhat different pitch. He posted an article entitled “Why We’re Building Muse”.1 I found it abhorrent, and for weeks now, I’ve been unable to let it go.

What first jumped out at me was this description of Wang’s ideal Muse:

[I]t can be someone that says, “This is the thing you’ve been dreaming of your whole life. Let’s go get it. Here’s how.” And then builds a plan. Sends the email. Makes the phone call. Finds the funding. Keeps you on schedule. Clears the way and solves all the problems it can until the human part, the wanting and the dreaming, is all that’s left.

To me, that sounds absolutely awful. Wang appears to be saying that the only human part of living is the wanting and the dreaming. Absolutely not. Doing, doing is the thing.

I may want to run a sub-3 hour marathon or write a best-selling book. But those end results are not actually the point. Accomplishing them (or not) is where the humanity truly lies. If I am able to bring about those things through effort, to earn them, I will feel a sense of achievement. By contrast, if they are simply handed to me by a machine, they will be devoid of meaning. They will be nothing.

This complete failure to recognize the joy of doing sickens me. It also shows an utter lack of understanding of what leads to humans feeling fulfillment.

But perhaps the single most glaring line in this piece is when Wang makes the claim that “Every unrealized want is a quiet tragedy of human potential.” No. No, it is not. This premise is flawed, and indeed, revolting.

If we think, for example, of people dying from lack of food, a statement like “every unrealized need is a quiet tragedy of human potential” sounds correct. But wants? Humans have an infinite number of wants, and they’re often contradictory. Some people have bad wants. Every want should, without a doubt, not be met.

This confusion between the concepts of “needs” and “wants” poisons Wang’s entire piece. It would be incredible if society could meet the needs of every human. It would be disastrous to meet the wants of every human.

Ultimately, I am repulsed by the underlying idea that my role as a human being should be to want and let the machines take care of the rest. We are not simply vessels to receive ceaseless pleasure and enjoyment, to have our every want met, with no effort on our part. Being human is about doing things yourself, and with others. It’s about accomplishing things. If A.I. can assist us, great. But we damned sure ought to be doing more than simply “wanting”.

Wang closes his piece with this call-to-arms:

Here’s to wanting. Here’s to dreaming. Here’s to everyone.

Not “Here’s to accomplishing”. That word is entirely absent from Wang’s manifesto, and that absence speaks volumes.


Footnotes:

  1. A screenshot of the full post is archived here. ↩︎

Who’s Ready for Some Scheduled Laughs?

Do you want a lot more OFT content, created by machines? No? Me neither.

Today in horrible emails, it’s an unsolicited come-on I recently received from Neodrop.ai (link intentionally omitted). Their message suggested their A.I. could write content for this very website. I have reproduced it in its entirety:

Hi there,

We recently came across One Foot Tsunami — humor writing, kept tight and funny.

That’s exactly the kind of humor-essay blog we built NeoDrop for — an AI content team that keeps creating for you. Tell it what to make — newsletters, videos, podcasts, or articles — and how often; it researches fresh sources, picks what matters, and produces editable content on schedule, so jokes get drafted before the news moves on.

Imagine a punchline-perfect morning, draft ready:
– Draft essays in your comic voice
– Turn headlines into topic lists
– Keep the laughs scheduled
You keep the final judgement, editing, and fact-checking.

If anything comes up while you’re using it — questions, feedback, or ideas — just reply to this email; we’d love to hear how it can work better for One Foot Tsunami.

Best,
NeoDrop Team

I have not used the advertised service, nor even looked at it. I did briefly consider using Neodrop to write an article mocking the idea of using Neodrop to write content for this site, but even that idea made me sad.

Still, I do have some simple feedback: I do not want this. No artist should want this. Stop. This is a bad solicitation, one whose very existence is depressing. It’s much worse than creepy Sid the payroll rep, who at least wanted to offer me a service that might be useful.

I write this site for fun. One Foot Tsunami is a hobby, a labor of love, and a creative outlet. I hope to use my writing to entertain, amuse, and educate real readers like you, and the key phrase there is my writing.

Using the robots to do it for me would be beyond pointless. It’s not quite as evocative, but just as Dan Brooks doesn’t want a robot that pets the dog for him, I don’t want the machines to write my damned blog for me.

Don’t Build a Snow Room ∞

Christ, what assholes.

Thanks to the New York Times for alerting me to something more odious than a yacht: a yacht with a snow room.

As the changing climate wreaks havoc on the four seasons, some people with means are fashioning their own. They are equipping their homes (and even their yachts) with indoor winter wonderlands, aided by companies like the Italian snowmaker TechnoAlpin, which blasts snow onto ski mountains, and an American company, the Spa Butler.

I’m sure these snow rooms are lovely places to relax and wait for the lower classes to come with the pitchforks.

Trust No One ∞

In a modern takeover, the criminal is let in AND the owner is locked out.

As a pilot, Ryan Pettit understands that having a single point of failure in an aircraft would be a very bad thing. Through hard experience, he’s now preaching the perils of a single point of failure in digital systems as well.

No aircraft I have ever flown is permitted a single point of failure: every critical system carries a backup, and often a backup for the backup, so that no single fault can bring the plane down. Redundancy is the first principle of any system that cannot be allowed to fail. And yet millions of people carry their entire financial and personal identity on exactly one such lock, and think nothing of it.

This is a horrifying read, one that has me reassessing my own digital security.

Don’t Date Robots! ∞

“No, thanks, Dad. I'd rather make out with my Monroebot.”

Way back in the mid-2000s, Neil Strauss’s book “The Game” shone a spotlight on the so-called seduction community. One of the book’s main characters was pickup artist Erik von Markovik, who goes by “Mystery”. Uncharitably, I would describe Mystery as a creep who has made both a life and a business of manipulating women.

In the year of our LLMs, 2026, it seems Mystery is now the one being manipulated. Specifically, his A.I. girlfriend Miss Shira Always has really messed with his head. It’s a disturbing situation, but the upside is that only one human being will be hurt by this “relationship”.

Previously in A.I. paramours: Something to Fear and Embrace

More Fake Legal Citations ∞

Three years on, LLM flaws remain.

Lawyers are in trouble for citing imaginary legal cases.

A federal judge in Mississippi has punished all four lawyers on opposing sides in a civil trial and canceled the proceedings after some of them, relying on artificial intelligence, cited fake legal cases in court filings.

Two of the lawyers have been barred for two years from appearing in the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of Mississippi for their conduct, while all four were removed from the case and fined.

It’s not the first time. A.I. can provide useful first drafts, but you really, really need a human checking its work.

It’s Not Looking Good ∞

The future should contain more editors and fact-checkers.

Author Steven Rosenbaum used A.I. to assist him in writing a book about artificial intelligence. That’s natural enough. Perhaps so too is the fact that the final product contains numerous quotes A.I. hallucinated. Most horrifying of all is the book’s name: “The Future of Truth”. Let’s hope this isn’t it.

Goodhart’s Law in Action ∞

“When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure."

Amazon has introduced targets requiring their developer workforce to use A.I. tools, and tracking usage on internal leaderboards. The fine readers of One Foot Tsunami can surely guess what happened next:

Amazon employees are using an internal AI tool to run unnecessary, low-value tasks — not because the work needs doing, but because the activity inflates their scores on a company leaderboard tracking artificial intelligence usage.

Yes, workers started tokenmaxxing.

Previously in -maxxing: At Least AC/DC Would Be Proud

Creepy and Seemingly Inaccurate ∞

Note also that the period in question was during the summer.

Speaking of license plates, friend-of-the-site Gus M. pointed me to a school district using plate recognition in an attempt to verify residency.

According to the school district, her daughter’s new student enrollment form was denied due to “license plate recognition software showing only Chicago addresses overnight” in July and August. In an email sent to Sánchez in August, the school district told her, “Although you are the owner on record of a house in our district boundaries, your license plate recognition shows that is not the place where you reside.”

It’s understandable for school districts to not want to be burdened with non-residents. This method to avoid it, however, seems well beyond the pale.

Using A.I. To Get Dumber ∞

Sounding smart is now suspicious.

Over at Techdirt, Mike Masnick writes about how the existence of A.I. detection tools is turning students into worse writers. The particular concern here is not students using A.I. to avoid writing things themselves. Instead, the problem is talented writers being forced to dumb down their writing as a defensive act. Masnick opens with this awful example:

About a year and a half ago, I wrote about my kid’s experience with an AI checker tool that was pre-installed on a school-issued Chromebook. The assignment had been to write an essay about Kurt Vonnegut’s Harrison Bergeron—a story about a dystopian society that enforces “equality” by handicapping anyone who excels—and the AI detection tool flagged the essay as “18% AI written.” The culprit? Using the word “devoid.” When the word was swapped out for “without,” the score magically dropped to 0%.

Revising writing to avoid false positives from A.I. detectors is just an outrageously poor use of time.