Twitter’s Raison D’Être

Twitter is one of the hottest companies in the world right now. There are all manner of uses for the service. While by and large it’s full of banality and minutia, some Twitter streams provide useful information. Others simply contain amusing psychosis. Twitter can provide news, entertainment, or simply act as a way for social circles to keep track of one another.

None of these, however, get to Twitter’s true reason for being. I believe that has finally been found, in the form of Michael Jordan’s Twitter stream. Just look at some of this gold:

  • Do you think Dragons ever existed a long long time ago?

And this:

  • A cactus is kind of a shitty houseplant.

The stream exhibits a child-like wonder, coupled with a surprising breadth of interests. He’ll even share an important message about your eternal soul. Alternately, Michael Jordan simply enjoys Perry Bible Fellowship, just like you and me!

Perhaps these tweets have you thinking “Hey, Michael Jordan and I aren’t so different”. Jordan will quietly but clearly show you the error of your ways:

  • Gotta love my champ rings.

Give the entire great, too-short stream a read. You’ll see that a peek inside the mind of the greatest basketball player of all time may just be the reason for Twitter to exist.

Update: I first saw this account many months ago and I thought I recalled having seen a Verified badge, indicating it was real. There isn’t one there now, and presumably, there never was. The account is almost certainly fake, though I’m not sure if that makes it better or worse.

Update (March 31st, 2012): I’m not sure if the same writer is now running this parody Michael Jordan account or if someone else had the same idea. Either way, the new one is quite amusing as well.