Barvd: February 7th, 2011 Edition

Monday, February 7th, 2011

Welcome to 2011’s first edition of Barvd (What’s Barvd?), where some of the most vile tweets are collected to amuse and abuse your senses. Sit down, strap in, and prepare to be disgusted!

Sometimes I think I get a new-looking DVD from Netflix because no one rents the movie and I get sad. Then I get a DVD with dead skin on it.
@swamibooba

If I’d thought about it, I guess I’d have hoped that there were some kind of cleaning robots at Netflix to clean the movies between rentals. But it seems we’re all swapping disgusting germs, and pieces of epidermis, as we swap movies.

The next generation growing up playing "TSA agent" instead of "doctor" may be the saddest part of this whole mess.
@jimray

Politics often make people sick, but political-based vomit? That’s new. And distressing.

Can -- can we hold a nationwide seminar to teach moms that 'come' isn't a word they should try to abbreviate when texting?
@_mattie

No comment – I wouldn’t touch this one with Oedipus’s dick.

After a long winter run my penis looks like one of your hamster's babies that didn't make it.
@scottsimpson

Speaking of dicks, congratulations Scott! Your cold, shriveled dead-hamster-baby penis has sickened me, and now, the world.

My toothbrush smells like a delicious cheese. Don't know whether to feel proud or disgusted.
@danielpunkass

Sometimes tweets lose their ability to nauseate over time. Like cheese, however, this one has only gotten sharper with age.

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If you’ve spotted a disgusting tweet, wipe the vomit off your shirt and submit a link.


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