Looking for a Partner in Crime

Friday, June 24th, 2011

Shortly after the demise of “Usama Bin Landen“, I gave the FBI’s Ten Most Wanted list a read. With the recent capture of Whitey Bulger, it’s actually now sitting at a rather anemic Eight Most Wanted list, and it’s one which is no longer very interesting. Most of the criminal profiles simply detail depressing murders and frauds, committed by relative unknowns who don’t possess the infamy of Bin Laden or Bulger.

The profile for James J. Bulger stands in stark contrast to the rest:

Bulger is an avid reader with an interest in history. He is known to frequent libraries and historic sites. Bulger may be taking heart medication. He maintains his physical fitness by walking on beaches and in parks with his female companion, Catherine Elizabeth Greig. Bulger and Greig love animals. Bulger has been known to alter his appearance through the use of disguises. He has traveled extensively throughout the United States, Europe, Canada, and Mexico.

With a bit of editing to the above text, and a carefully cropped version of this old mugshot, Whitey would have one hell of a dating profile.

Whitey Bulger's Dating Profile
You can flirt, ladies, but he won’t be free Friday. Or ever again.

In related news, reports indicate that following Bulger’s arrest, Disney rushed to trademark the term “Whitey Bulger”. Their efforts were stymied, however, as they’d been beaten to it by Vivid Entertainment.


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